What’s A Dandelion Child, & Are You Raising One? Parenting Experts Explain

We can draw some parallels between raising a child and tending to a garden (or indoor plant): They force you to roll up your sleeves, get a little dirty, and ensure they have enough water and sunlight to thrive. You might talk to your plants and adore watching them grow, much like you (hopefully) do with your child, even if some seasons are more challenging. Like children, different plants have distinct needs. For instance, a snake plant needs less watering than an orchid.

“Orchid kids” have become buzzy on social media. These children are often more sensitive and cautious than their peers. On the flip side, there are “dandelion children.” Named for the yellow plant that means “lion’s teeth” in French, dandelion children — like the flowers — often exhibit qualities you’d expect from a lion’s tooth: Strength and resilience, even in the face of adversity.

“Have you ever told yourself as a parent: ‘I’m so lucky. My kid was such an easy baby and still is?’” Dandelion kids is a concept used to describe children who can thrive in any environment, just like the flower,” says Dr. Regine Muradian, a psychologist and parenting expert.

Quick caveat: You may not like labels, and Muradian understands. In fact, taking “personality typing” too far can result in people missing the forest for the trees. “It’s important to keep in mind that children are each unique and have their own strengths and weaknesses,” Muradian says. “Each child learns differently and needs unique tools to help them thrive.”

That said, learning whether your child leans “dandelion” can provide some perspective and ideas for helping them thrive. Mental health professionals dug deeper into dandelion children, including common traits and tips for raising one.

OK, what’s a dandelion child?

You likely don’t plant dandelions. They just pop up when the weather is right, which might vary from year to year. You can say the same about a dandelion child.

“A dandelion child is one of those children who tend to be, by nature, a go-with-the-flow type with an even-keel, easy temperament,” Dr. Elisabeth Crain, a psychologist. “They’re agreeable, adaptable, and flexible.”

These traits don’t change if your setting does.

“These types of children can flourish and co-exist easily in different environments,” Crain says. “They’re good for traveling and thrive in different environments, whether at school or parties. Similar to an actual dandelion, dandelion children can thrive in different conditions, like a resilient flower.”

How can you tell if you have a dandelion child?

While it can take a while for a child’s true personality to shine through, experts share you might see some clues you have a budding dandelion in infancy.

“Dandelion babies are usually more aware and inquisitive,” says Ashlee Martin with Thriveworks, a licensed professional counselor and a former school counselor specializing in coping skills, trauma, parenting, and family therapy.

For example, Crain says dandelion babies are ones you wouldn’t hesitate to hop on a plane, and passengers will give you flowers. “Strangers will comment, ‘Your baby did so well — I didn’t hear a peep.’”

In toddlerhood, Crain says dandelion kids usually don’t fuss during childcare drop-offs or playdates. One possible reason for the “easy drop-off”? Martin says dandelion toddlers start exhibiting secure attachments. They understand their grown-ups will return and are eager to engage socially with other adults and peers.

“As they continue to grow, they will be confident and won’t let the small disruptions get them down,” Martin says. “They will persevere and be successful.”

Crain says some other signs you’re raising a dandelion:

• Your child can entertain themselves for long periods.
• They quickly adjust to new situations, like school and new friends.
• They remain calm in environments that might overwhelm other children, such as a baseball game with loud music blaring between innings.

Martin adds that dandelion kids often exhibit higher energy levels and less sensitivity than their peers, sometimes leading to overlooking others’ feelings.

How to help your dandelion child thrive as they grow

Like the flower, dandelion kids often appear to “not need much” to survive. Yet, experts stress that this is where personality typing can go sideways. All kids have needs, and if you’re here reading this, you are likely an intuitive parent who wants to help your child survive and thrive. Here are a few seeds the experts have planted that you may want to till.

Cultivate self-expression

Dandelions often don’t make many requests because they’re so easygoing, but that has pros and cons, Crain says. “They may not communicate their needs or speak their opinions,” Crain says. “They’ll often go inward, even when something doesn’t feel good to them. It’s important for parents to teach dandelion children to think for themselves, to speak up, and to create autonomy and agency.”

This process can start in toddlerhood.

“Try to let them make small decisions like choosing their clothes or a bedtime story to help develop the independent decisions that they make,” suggests Dr. Dakari Quimby, a clinical psychologist for HelpGuide Handbook.

As children grow, Crain suggests asking questions like “What do you think about that?” and “What are your thoughts on this?” to encourage speaking up.

Introduce them to various settings

Dandelion kids are open-minded and adaptable — two traits that will serve them long-term if nurtured.

“Try to get them involved in after-school activities and make sure that they interact with all different types of kids,” Quimby says. “It can also be beneficial to encourage them to explore new places. This can improve their social skills and prepare them to thrive socially.”

Martin says sports and physical activities can be great for these often high-energy, rough-and-tumble kids. Just avoid overscheduling because dandelions can sometimes over-extend themselves. If your child feels worn out or withdrawn mentally, it might be a sign they need help setting limits.

Support problem-solving

Dandelion children are resilient in the face of adversity, but their easygoing nature might see them OK-ing solutions someone else thought up.

“Encourage them to think through problems rather than just telling them how to solve them,” Quimby says. “For example, if they’re confused by a game or a project, ask questions like, ‘What piece might fit here and why?’ This helps them develop critical thinking skills. Make sure to give appropriate scaffolding to set kids up for success and not frustration.”

Quimby advises parents to ensure challenges are age-appropriate. For instance, an older infant and toddler can stack cups but isn’t ready for a 900-piece jigsaw puzzle.

Don’t take their traits for granted

You likely don’t think too much about dandelion flowers — they arrive and bloom when ready and can survive the often mercurial spring weather. But Muradian emphasizes that dandelion kids need special care and attention.

“For your dandelion child to thrive, it’s important not to take their strength and resilience for granted,” Muradian says. “They still need to be recognized, praised, seen, and valued — even if you know as a parent they will bounce back or adapt to any challenge.”

Muradian suggests celebrating small wins, like brushing teeth without being asked or putting away shoes. She also suggests acknowledging and praising strengths, such as eagerly re-trying a tricky math problem and arriving at the correct answer the second time.

Help them understand and express their feelings and empathize with others

Sometimes, dandelion kids’ easygoing nature can make them appear unemotional, and they may struggle to empathize with others who are more sensitive and less flexible than they are.

Muradian says it’s important to discuss feelings as a family, and Quimby explains these conversations can promote empathy. “If you’re telling a story, discuss the emotions and motivations of characters to help deepen their understanding of others’ feelings,” Quimby says.

Learn from each other

Orchids and dandelions are often portrayed as “polar opposites.” There are certainly differences — and if you’re a parent, you may be overstimulated by some of your kids’ favorite activities or more sensitive to certain comments. But that doesn’t mean you’re the wrong “fit” for one another. In fact, Crain says orchid parents and dandelion kids can bring the best out of one another.

“We are teachers to our children, but our children are also teachers to us,” she says. “Orchid parents can guide dandelion children to build autonomy and communication skills, while dandelion children remind orchid parents to let go and not sweat the small stuff. It’s a beautiful dynamic of differences coming together.”

This article was originally published on scarymommy.com.