What To Say To A Busy Mom That Will Actually Make Her Day

If you have more than one child and you’ve appeared out in public with them any time below the age of about 8, there’s a good chance you’ve heard someone tell you “Wow! You’ve got your hands full!” One mom of three, Stephanie, who posts as @_stephmorrison_ on TikTok, recently shared an alternative statement that, frankly, we should all be using.

Personally, I’ve never minded ‘You’ve got your hands full’ because, yes, random lady in the grocery store, you’re right: I do. This is hard as hell. Sometimes I’ve even found that hearing that from a stranger is validating. Someone else understands that even doing something simple like buying bread and milk and diapers is a challenge with two toddlers in tow.

But other people, understandably, bristle when they hear this. Even if said kindly and with sympathy, it’s pretty negative. And at worst it can make a mom feel insecure and diminished. Like “I’m constantly trying to mask the fact that I’m hanging on by a thread but, hey, thank you for noticing loud enough for everyone in the produce aisle to hear.”

But Steph just had the inverse of that experience, and it’s truly heartwarming.

“The sweetest thing just happened,” she begins in her video. “I was just finishing my walk and we were just pulling down our street and this old man, he stopped so we could walk by because we’ve got the double-wide stroller that takes up the whole space, and he goes ‘Wow! You’re going to have a lot of fun.’

“I don’t know why I’m getting emotional telling you now. But most people say ‘You’ve got your hands full’ and it’s my biggest pet peeve, but he was so sweet and I could, like, see the memories flash through his eyeballs as he said that to me: ‘You’re going to have a lot of fun.’

“Like, dang! That’s the type of vibe and energy I’m going to bring to motherhood. I was having a really great time with the kids already so I don’t know why I’m crying telling you this. But if you’re a mother out there, I hope you’re having a lot of fun, too, because why not?”

We could not love this more, and neither could folks in the comments, who were quick to share their own magical experiences of receiving kindness from strangers.

“Had a similar experience,” one person shared. “Met an older lady in Hobby Lobby. She asked to see my son and started crying. She said ‘Wow he is beautiful! You’re about to have some of the best times of your life.’”

“I’m 8 months pregnant and an older gentleman in the grocery store looked at me and said ‘best thing you’ll ever do,’” wrote another. ‘Tears!”

“The same thing happened to me today,” a third comment reads. “This older woman stopped me and my kids jumping in leaves and she said ‘I used to bring my kids here. You and your babies will have these memories forever.’”

There’s real power, and necessity, in sharing the hard parts of parenting. You and your baby aren’t always going to bond. You’re not always going to like being a mom. You’re going to be tired, overstimulated, emotional, angry, and that’s all very, very normal. But the joy is also profound. And maybe sharing that can feel weirdly vulnerable. Maybe this anecdote can remind us all to let other parents, the ones who are going through something we’ve made it through, that there’s beauty in this space, too, if not in every moment, and that deserves to be quietly celebrated.