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Ever heard of a post-divorce “glow-up?” The premise: A woman gets divorced and *suddenly* becomes more attractive. Why is this a thing people are talking about? Well, some ratbag surfaced on TikTok to ask why women get “super sexy” following a split: “Where was that effort when we were married?” And if he never got attention from women before… he’s certainly getting it now.
One woman in particular brilliantly down the post-divorce glow-up for this chowderhead (and all the other ones like him out there). “I have the answer, and all of the women watching along will be nodding along with me,” explained Brittany, one-half of the Two Moray Eels podcaster duo.
Teeing up her now-viral video in the comments, Brittany says of the post-divorce glow-up, “It’s simple; you’re robbing her of the mental and physical space to take care of herself by not independently managing your responsibility as a father/household member.”
Yup, that.
In her video response to the unknown-identity hucklebuck, Brittany explains further that there are “three types of men as husbands and/or fathers.”
The first type defaults “most, if not all, of the mental and physical responsibility for parenting and domestic household to women.” While this type isn’t only married to stay-at-home moms, Brittany points out that the ones who are will absolutely use that excuse to justify doing nothing.
The second type of husband/father is more transactional. “There are men who ‘help’ their wives with the mental and physical responsibilities of parenting and domestic household specific to her ‘returning the favor’ with something that is for his own personal needs,” says Brittany. So, for example, they’ll help their wife do the dishes — but their willingness to do so is generally tied to “whether or not they’re getting what they want from her, usually physically.”
Fortunately, there is a third type of husband/father: the good kind. “There are men who carry their share of responsibility, both physically and mentally, for parenting and domestic household,” says Brittany, “because they want to and it’s rewarding for them.”
But, to be clear, this TikTok was not inspired by the third type of man. Old Nimrod McDoofus, who created the video that Brittany stitched, would most certainly fall under one of the first two types. So, how does that relate to the post-divorce glow-up? You see the writing on the wall, right?
“Women who glow up after divorce are married to one of the first two types of men. And women that glow up in the marriage are married to the third type of man,” confirms Brittany.
Judging by the comments from #fragilemen in response to Brittany’s video, she struck a nerve. However, other women also agreed with Brittany and offered additional insight.
“I think their assumption is the glow-up is for a future man. Everyone I know post-divorce is doing it strictly for themselves,” commented Apple.
“They glow up bc of all the extra time they have not taking care of an adult child,” commented Kelly.
“If a flower doesn’t bloom, you don’t blame the flower,” said Jess 💜. “It needs a better environment that it can flourish in.”
“Every time I was looking my best, my ex would say, ‘Who are u trying to look good for?’ My now husband says, ‘What did I do to deserve you?'” shared PSJ.
The Type 1 and Type 2 men argue that this doesn’t make sense — that a woman should have less time as a single mom than she did with a partner. But the reality is that having a partner doesn’t always mean you have more time for yourself; sometimes, it just means another person requires something of you.
When a woman splits from a partner who only takes up more of her mental, physical, and emotional energy, she can turn some of that energy back on herself.