Deal alert: Get 25% off all one-time purchases sitewide at Meridian Grooming with the code REFINERY through December 15.
My underwear occasionally gets so swampy, a real estate agent could sell a pair to Shrek. The culprit? Nature’s thick, coarse private-part wig and the bane of my existence: pubes. I don’t condone pube shaming, nor do I think they’re dirty. It just so happens that the luscious, beautifully dense afro that sprouts from my scalp also engulfs my entire mons pubis and — despite endless shaving, waxing, sugaring, and suffering — speedily rises like a phoenix from the ashes every time I attempt to banish it. So imagine my intrigue when I got wind of a ball trimmer (yes, an electronic depilatory device designed for use on the scrotum) from the “below-the-waist” grooming brand Meridian Grooming that labia owners swear by for seamless hair removal. Needless to say, I had to try The Trimmer. (Psst, if you too would like to give this trimmer a buzz, use the code REFINERY for 25% off all one-time purchases sitewide through December 15, 2022.)
A few facts about The Trimmer and the newly released The Trimmer Plus: They’re waterproof, rechargeable, offer up to 90 minutes of buzz time per charge, and come in trendy sage green, classic black, and a cool ocean blue. A few questions I had about this gizmo: Does it give a close shave? Will my skin break out in bumps within 24 hours of use? Is it truly mons-pubis-friendly? Well, I finally mowed my lawn and all shall be revealed in my detailed, somewhat comical review, below.
As an electric trimmer novice, I did some research. I deduced that the average groin groomer lands anywhere between $30 to over $100, and the ones worth your time are waterproof, rechargeable, easy to maneuver, and come with some helpful accessories. Not only that, but many brands boast some form of skin-protecting technology that prevents nicks and bumps and guarantees hygienic safety. Meridian Grooming’s $74 trimmer checks all of these boxes — mine came charged in mint condition and was accompanied by two adjustable guide combs, a cleaning brush, and a USB charger. As for the guarantees, per Meridian Grooming’s on-site description, the gadget’s ceramic blades should “[handle] coarse and curly hair without painful nicks and pulling,” while the adjustable combs ensure you achieve “your perfect length.”
In terms of feedback, the trimmer reigns supreme with a 4.5 out of 5-star rating and 631 reviews. One customer, Yazan A., put it simply: “It is as expected. So happy to have it.” Another on-site reviewer, Kalene B., also gave her trimmer five stars and rejoiced, “It works for women too!” The few unhappy buyers warn the public of not-so-close trims and inconvenient charging, and one even mentioned “it’s not a good trimmer for women.” Oh, really? I decided to evaluate these opposing theories and give the trimmer a go.
TL;DR it worked.
I can’t show you my real results (I did shave my arm for journalistic purposes), but I can give you a worthy testimonial starting with my hair removal history. I prefer to get Brazilian waxes as it completely eradicates my down-there hair for a few weeks and feels the breeziest. When my rent takes financial priority, I’ll trim with some scissors and then do as best as I can with a razor. The common denominator here is extreme measures. I never found a happy medium with my follicles until The Trimmer entered the building — specifically, my bathroom.
On a smoothness scale of one (dull razor blade) to 10 (Brazilian wax), this trimmer gets a seven. Are trimmers supposed to provide a Brazillian or brand-new, razor-level shave? I know not. But I do know that Meridian’s poster child provides a level of ease and leaves minuscule hairs behind that are SOFT. My full bush was gone in about six minutes and there were no nicks, prickly short stems, or unevenness. Just effortless skin. And although I was hesitant, I even successfully went in between the labia majora (or, as most of us call them, the lips).
We all know that the real trial of hair-removal success is the test of time. I monitored my area throughout the standard 24-hour time slot, and to my surprise, nary an itch nor bump was found. I would assume it’s because of the nearness of the shave as opposed to the close, but invasive skin-to-skin contact.
Personally, this will be my shaving grace. I reminisce on all those times I frantically shaved my bikini line for the sake of an outfit or uncomfortably laid spread eagle while chatting with my waxing specialist about my day. Those bouts of discomfort will be no longer. I highly recommend this specifically to vagina-havers who don’t like sparkly bald genitals — the Meridian Trimmer provides the happiest of hair mediums and truly keeps things under control. (Don’t buy this if you want Brazillian wax-level shaves.)
So, apologies to Shrek: My undies will no longer be on the swamp housing market. He can blame it on The Trimmer.
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