We live in an age where it’s completely normal to have a full conversation with an AI who can help you plan everything from vacation itineraries to your child’s sports schedule. So, how is it that our society has progressed in one way and NOT in other ways?
Recently a mom posted on Reddit’s AITA forum about wanting to take a solo vacation. Now, the idea that she absolutely needs time alone is not up for debate but the absolute bonkers part of her post is where she describes all she does at home versus the little-to-nothing that her husband does.
The mom of three shared, “Me (32F) and my partner (37M) are in a disagreement. He thinks I’m selfish for considering this. I don’t think I am.” She says they’ve been together for 12 years and in all of that time their household and childcare responsibilities have not changed. Their children are 7, 4 and 2 years old.
Her husband walks the dog in the morning, goes to work and then comes back home and is asleep by 8pm. THAT’S IT.
On her end, she says she cares exclusively for the kids, “As well as every household duty, laundry, cooking, cleaning. I am a SAHM, but I am also self employed, so after I look after the children all day, I then work for a couple of hours on my laptop.” So basically she’s carrying on multiple full-time jobs.
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And then, she says it’s for her birthday. This solo getaway is what she wants as her birthday present! All she’s asking for is the husband to take some PTO days to watch the kids. Oh, and, she’s also willing to pay for her own gift. How is it that the scales of parental duties and adult responsibilities are so skewed? Because, let’s be honest, household duties such as cleaning and laundry are adult duties. Those are not exclusively “mom duties” unless all partners are living in some magical hotel where all of the work gets done for them.
Unfortunately, this isn’t new. 58% of mom who took Motherly’s annual SOM survey shared that the primary responsibilities of running a household and childcare fall on their shoulders. That’s higher than it was during the height of the pandemic.
The mom of three pays the bills. She also reports that her husband misses important school meetings or appointments and yet he also has unused vacation days year over year. The lack of balance in this story is truly astounding. Moms do so much for their families and often the one person they end up neglecting is themself. Your self-care deserves to be a priority, mama.
Related: Mom’s list of ‘I thought I would enjoy as a parent that I actually DO NOT’ goes viral on TikTok
I’m so happy this Reddit poster’s husband encouraged her to post their story because the Reddit community had a lot to say. And, yes, they were on her side.
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