The Important Role A Smile Plays In Dating, According To The Experts

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“What do you find most attractive?” It’s a common dating app prompt that I’ve seen on countless profiles, and the answer is almost always: “a great smile.” As a single woman living in Los Angeles — and spending the better part of my life single in NYC — I’ve been on many apps and many dates, and what I’ve learned is this: A really great smile truly is one of the simplest, most effective ways to win over a date. 

I know this from having experienced both ends of the spectrum: There was the one whose tight-lipped stoicism made me feel ill at ease; there was one whose swoon-worthy smile made me weak in the knees. I never thought of myself as someone who really put too much value on a smile (I was always more of a “nice eyes” and charisma kind of gal), but swoon-worthy man had probably the prettiest smile I’d ever seen. I could not take my eyes off him. I took note of how he smiled as he attentively listened to a story I was telling, how much he openly laughed, how his face lit up as he excitedly told me about his new dog, using his hands for emphasis.

It’s important to note that a smile doesn’t have to be “perfect.” Desiree Yazdan, DDS and Crest partner, says that a well-kempt smile, aka having good oral hygiene and healthy teeth, is often the key to more confidence — and thus, better dating. Her patients have often reported better dating experiences when they improve their smiles. “People want to look their best; they want to feel their best,” says Dr. Yazdan, who suggests taking a hard look — a “Reality Checkup” — at your current toothpaste, because it might not be benefiting you like you think. If it’s not, she recommends Crest 3DWhite Brilliance Vibrant Peppermint Toothpaste as her go-to first line of defense, because, unlike other toothpastes, this one achieves a noticeably whiter and brighter smile in just three days and is designed to remove 100% more stains than basic toothpastes. “If they’re embarrassed because their teeth are stained or for any other reason, they don’t want to be going out and meeting people and trying to set up dates.” 

What differentiates a smile — an everyday feature (and verb) that most don’t think twice about — and a “great smile” is the feeling and intent behind the act. An open, friendly smile communicates warmth, happiness…and in dating, that aforementioned confidence.  

“Someone displaying a ‘good’ smile is likely to be perceived by others as someone who is confident, friendly, approachable — these are all desirable qualities, especially when it comes to dating,” says Devyn Simone, matchmaker and dating expert, who notes that it takes mere seconds for our brains to form an impression. Studies report that if a person is smiling, we perceive them as more physically attractive as a whole, even if they don’t have “perfect” teeth. Science also proves this to be true — people find those who smile more approachable and comforting than people who don’t.

Of course, the physical characteristics of a smile do matter. I have a friend who won’t swipe on a man on a dating app unless she can see a smile showing teeth. When asked why, she replied, “I don’t know — it’s something about not showing your teeth that gets to me. It doesn’t have to be a perfectly straight smile, just there!” My other friend once went on a date with a man who had the worst breath and later told me, “I should have known by his pictures — he always had his mouth closed.” As for me, ever since swoon-worthy man, I love a good, white, healthy smile. Not only does it look good (hello!), but it also makes one seemingly more self-assured.  

And it goes both ways: I used to be insecure about mine. As a writer who covers lifestyle, which naturally includes drinks, I was always so self-conscious about wine stains (I kept wine wipes in my bag for years) and that stopped me from smiling my fullest for years. I was (and am) always on top of my dental hygiene (thanks to years of braces and a palate expander — things that instill in you the importance of an oral care routine). I would occasionally reach for whitening strips, but I never used them consistently enough to see a huge payoff. But when I finally got my teeth professionally whitened in my mid-20s, I felt an immediate surge of confidence in my smile — and in myself, so much so that I swiftly redownloaded dating apps. For me, I’ve maintained my bright, white smile (and by extension, my confidence) by incorporating an effective whitening toothpaste into my daily routine. 

Which makes sense: One of the main things that all experts note is how much we interpret a “good smile” as having bright, white teeth. “Patients come in and they tell me, ‘Oh, I just started dating again — I really want to take care of [my teeth]…what else can I do?’” Dr. Yazdan says. “They might even have a great set of teeth that are beautiful, and they’re like, ‘But what else can I do to make them look even better?’ Usually if their hygiene is [already] good, whitening is the answer.” 

Recently, I was on a date with a man who was cracking jokes all night (actual, funny ones — a true feat) when he suddenly stopped to look at me. “I love that you’re laughing,” he said. “You’ve got a great smile.” I looked at him and noticed his, too. I smiled again.

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