It’s true: Every so often (or maybe more than that), we get that particular itch that nothing but a sex toy can scratch. There’s something about the way a highly performing vibrator stimulates your clit or your G-spot (or both at the same time!) that can make you feel the kind of orgasmic pleasure that no partner or body part can replicate. Lucky for us, everyone’s favorite one-stop shop, Amazon, is filled with a bounty of motorized goodies that will have you raving. And nothing gets us raving faster than a great deal on an already-exquisite product.

With National Orgasm Day right around the corner, we wanted to help you narrow down your search to only the best vibrators with discounted prices at Amazon (with the most effusive reviews and intense pleasure, according to pleased shoppers!). Because we want you to start enjoying your toy-induced orgasm ASAP. We’ve found everything from buzz-worthy wands to TikTok-famous clitoral suction stimulators that have reviewers panting, sweating, blacking out, and even “seeing God.”

The best news? Each one has had its price slashed, making your orgasms even sweeter. Ahead, check out our compilation of the 23 best Amazon sex toys on sale right now that prove you can save big on price without saving on pleasure. National Orgasm Day demands it!

Welcome to Hype Machine, our hit-list of the top reviewed products across the web — according to a crowd of die-hard shoppers. Call this your 4-star & up only club, with entry granted by our devoted-to-the-goods shop editors.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. All product details reflect the price and availability at the time of publication. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

For more can’t-miss shopping stories delivered straight to your inbox, sign up for our Most Wanted newsletter.

Ava Rechargeable Personal Massager

The Hype: 4.2 out of 5 stars and 36,319 reviews

Amazon customers have gone wild for this mini wand from Ava (formerly Luna). Wands are known for their super-powered clitoral stimulation abilities, but they can often be big and bulky to hold. If that’s been a deterrent, check out this customer favorite. Plus, the price is one of the lowest we’ve ever seen for such a well-reviewed sex toy.

“I love this massager. I’ve bought two of them so far. One purple, one black. I’d stick with either the pink or purple personally, but good product despite the color. It’s a smidge hard to hold if being used longer than like 15-20 minutes I’ve found but nothing too bad,” writes a reviewer. “The battery life is great (cordless but comes with a wall charger). The other con is it’s crazy loud, so if you’re looking for something discreet, this isn’t it. But other than that, great product — I’ll be buying this until the shop shuts down…Worth the price, too.”

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Ava Personal Massager, $, available at Amazon

Tracy’s Dog OG Sucking Vibrator

The Hype: 4.6 out of 5 stars and 7,488 reviews

This vibrator isn’t just responsible for making our writer black out from pleasure, but it’s also responsible for one of the most hilarious Amazon reviews, written by Tanya, the world has ever seen. Only the pink color is on sale at the moment, but as the review indicates, it’s more than worth it in any color.

“I had read Tanya’s 5-star review and thought, ‘She is either a gifted science fiction writer or this toy gives is about as close to feeling the presence of God without actually dying as I can get in this lifetime. For under $100 why not?’ Tanya, my Goddess of all things good and wonderful, she was not kidding… The ‘O’… holy mother of all things sacred, it worked almost immediately. I mean, I pushed the buttons 2 on each one, took a few seconds and within 3 minutes I could feel the ‘O’ building! I came so intensely I literally thought I might have triggered an asthma attack, but realized I had just forgotten to breathe! I lay there gasping and realized I was about to have another one. It’s a good 20 minutes later and I am still panting!”

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Tracy’s Dog OG Sucking Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Womanizer Pro40 Clitoral Sucking Toy

The Hype: 4.2 out of 5 stars and 5,246 reviews

“The last time I used this, I spent an hour sitting in the bathroom sink and I swear I had 10-15 orgasms…Try sitting in different positions with different leg/knee/hip positions. There’s a million ways to use this. I am very picky with vibrators, and I only enjoy external stimulation…I have a really hard time climaxing so I was skeptical of this. If you want something that combines the power of encompassing sensation with targeted sensation, this is perfect. Just be patient and try every different setting and different positions… Btw, I’ve probably spent 3-4 hours in total using this and it still hasn’t died. The battery is a beast.” —LH, Amazon Reviewer

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Womanizer Pro40 Clitoral Sucking Toy, $, available at Amazon

Rose Licking 2-In-1 Thrusting Dildo Sex Toy

The Hype: 4.6 out of 5 stars and 3,444 reviews

If you’re already a fan of the viral rose vibrator but are looking for a few different sensations, this licking tongue vibrator also has an insertable egg that thrusts for leg-twitching G-spot stimulation.

“I have the rose one and liked it so much I saw this and bought it to try! I like all of the settings it has for vibrations and thrusting, 9 settings for each for the tongue thrusting dildo and for vibrations. I thought the tongue would be a bit softer than it is…but [it] still does the job well. You can use it on different body parts and you don’t have to have both the tongue and dildo at the same time! I like that it is waterproof, easy to clean and charges fast also.”

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MOOLIGIRL Rose Tongue Licking & Thrusting Dildo G-Spot Vibrators, $, available at Amazon

Svakom G-Spot Vibrator

The Hype: 4.4 out 5 and 791 reviews

With 5 speeds and 5 patterns, this nearly 7-inch curved vibrator distributes custom pleasure exactly how (and where!) you want it. It’s currently at its lowest price in 30 days, so grabbing it is a must.

“This vibe isn’t the quietest in my opinion but it works great! The multiple functions are spot on! The curved shape definitely contours great to the internal and external female anatomy. I would recommend for couples and solo activities. Don’t be afraid to wash it or use it in the shower as long as you don’t submerge it. Charges quickly and lasts a while.

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Svakom G-Spot Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Jesbena Clitoral Sucking Toy

The Hype: 4.3 out of 5 stars and 959 reviews

With both suction and tongue vibrator capabilities, this toy is well-worth its under $20 price tag. Don’t believe me? Scroll through some of the reviews, which endlessly brag about experiencing life-changing orgasms at its powerful mouth, and you’ll become a believer fast.

“I have not stopped playing with this,” writes one happy reviewer. “I can’t even fathom how incredible this little device is. Every time I orgasm it feels like the first. I am so shook. Just wanted to tell you all that this is worth every penny. I’d spend over 100 dollars on it… I don’t think I’ve ever had this many orgasms in one day.”

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Jesbena Clitoral Sucking Tongue Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

BFAZON Rabbit G-Spot Vibrator with Tongue Licking

The Hype: 4.6 out of 5 stars and 673 reviews

If you’re curious about the newest tongue-licking vibrator fad but you also crave that internal G-spot stimulation, we’ve found the hottest toy on Amazon for you. Literally. This rabbit not only has a tongue vibrator for your clit, but the shaft heats up for a real-feel experience you’re not going to want to miss out on. “This toy is cheap but you would never know! It has some great features on it like it warming up,” explains a happy customer. “I haven’t had any issues with mine at all. Definitely buy!”

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BFAZON G-Spot Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Pro Air Suck Clitoris Stimulator

The Hype: 4.8 out of 5 stars and 477 reviews

A clitoral suction vibrator for under $20 that works well seems unlikely, but that isn’t the case according to shoppers of the Pro Air Suck. “Once the device was on the correct spot, it was less than 20 seconds to launch,” says one reviewer. “I didn’t just see stars; I’m pretty sure I traveled to another universe… I can’t wait to use this with my partner. My last such toy lasted a few years before it stopped working. I expect no less from this new one. At less than $20, this gadget is well worth the investment.”

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Generic Pro Air Suck Clitoris Stimulator, $, available at Amazon

Shibari Hello Power Wand with 20x Pulsations, USB Rechargeable Curved Wireless Wand Massager

The Hype: 4.5 out of 5 stars and 41 reviews

Shibari is known for its high-quality sex toys, and this curved wand is no exception. One reviewer writes, “Nothing can make you finish like this can. Hint: make sure you put a towel under you,” while another applauds its versatility. “It works great on all muscle aches and pains as well as it fits your sexual pleasure needs. 20 different vibrating patterns with 8 speeds means you will never have trouble finding one you like.”

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Shibari Shibari Hello Power Wand, $, available at Amazon

Magic Wand Plug-In Massager Plus

The Hype: 4.5 out of 5 stars and 2,981 reviews

Known as the Cadillac of vibrators, this classic massager will blow your orgasms out of the park with its super-powered motor. Since it’s the original plug-in version, it’ll literally never quit on you. Plus, it rarely goes on sale, so this one’s a veritable steal. This list of pros from one reviewer really says all you need to know before purchasing: “Due to its size, it’s very easy to hold and also gives you the ability to reach the right spot from a multitude of positions. 4 different vibration speeds. These range from mild to very, wonderfully intense. Never run out of charge – although this is wireless, if you’re in the middle of “massaging” yourself and it dies, you can plug it in and continue using it while it’s charging (this is a lifesaver sometimes). This WILL become your favorite massager and be used very regularly. Product quality and durability is amazing. We’ve had the same one for almost 7 years now and despite being heavily used, it’s still going strong. We’ve actually had to purchase another charging cord before having to replace the product itself.” What are you waiting for???

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Vibratex Magic Wand Massager Plus, Plug-In Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Neworld Rose Suction Vibrator

The Hype: 4.6 out of 5 stars and 1,187 reviews

The viral rose vibrator has about 1,000+ iterations these days, but this highly reviewed one on Amazon is top-notch. Customers love its velvety texture and easy-to-clean shape. Plus, it’s totally waterproof, so you can play with your flower in rain or shine. “So I’ve heard rave reviews about these types of toys. I was skeptical, but let me tell you, it definitely deserves all the rave reviews! It took me a second to figure out my spot & what I liked best but let me tell you…maybe 10 seconds later & I was done! Truly magical! 100% recommend! 10/10! There’s many different patterns you can choose which I love, & I love how easy it is to clean! Def get it if you’re thinking about it.”

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Neworld Rose Suction Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Luuvee G-Spot Bullet Vibrator for Precision Stimulation

The Hype: 4.0 out of 5 stars and 190 reviews

Bullets are known for their small, streamlined, and discreet function, and this one from Luuvee has reviewers raving about just that. “My prior device was much larger than this vibrator, and thank goodness I decided to give this smaller size a try. I am much happier pleasing myself with this perfect little gem. It is a powerhouse and much more versatile than the larger models. I love the variety of vibrational power and rhythm settings. in addition, it is very easy to clean, charge and travel with because it easily fits in my purse or luggage. I definitely recommend buying this vibrator.”

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LUUVEE G-Spot Bullet Vibrator for Precision Stimulation, $, available at Amazon

Tracy’s Dog Come-Hither Rabbit Sucking Vibrator

The Hype: 4.8 out of 5 stars and 297 reviews

During Tracy’s Dog’s National Orgasm Day Sale, they’re also taking prices down on their Amazon storefront. Get this highly-rated rabbit, which features their famous suction clitoral stimulator for 15% off right now. Reviewers recommend it highly. “The come hither internal vibration & external sucking vibration are turned on independently with different control buttons for total customization depending on your mood although I personally am in love with how the two modes work in tandem. Even on the lowest intensity settings, I was shaking within a couple minutes & had many multiple orgasms just back to back every few minutes I have a couple suction toys from the big name luxury brands wevibe & lelo as well as an insertable waving vibe also from lelo that both feel amazing on their own but can’t really be used together practically, so the combination of the two in this product is the perfect solution.”

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Tracy’s Dog Rabbit Sucking Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Mooligirl Thrusting Dildo Vibrator Sex Toy

The Hype: 4.6 out of 5 stars and 874 reviews

This powerful thruster helps reach your G-spot with minimal effort on your part (and who doesn’t want that?). Reviewers also love that it’s water-resistant and easy-to-clean. “I’m a woman that’s very intuitive with her body, so finding the right toy to give me full satisfaction that doesn’t leave me feeling the need to have another person involved, is difficult to find. After using this toy, I will be honest, I am so serious when I say I was shocked at how fully satisfied I was afterward. You can find the perfect vibration and thrust or just one without the other. It’s so versatile.”

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MOOLIGIRL Thrusting Dildo Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Satisfyer Pro Air Pulse Clitoral Stimulator

The Hype: 4.2 out of 5 stars and 58,929 reviews

As well as accumulating *looks up* over 58k effusive reviews, the Satisfyer Pro is one of the best of the best vibrators out there. You know it’s good because it also ranks as one of R29 editors’ go-to sex toys for its incredible air-pulse stimulation, which creates a vacuum around your clit for earth-shattering orgasms in a pinch.

“You may have a heart attack using this device because it will blow your MIND!!!! Also, if you do not like any sucking action on your clit, this is not for you… though I suppose you could also use it as a mini vacuum if you wanted to clean out your purse or something. The [worst] thing about this device is that after you have a heart attack, you will not have the option to defend yourself when your friends and family finds out that you died because of a $60 sex toy. What will they put on your grave marker? How many friends will suppress giggles at your funeral? I’m sure you will become the trending topic when they report that you died from complications related to extreme orgasming. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

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Satisfyer Satisfyer Pro 2 Air-Pulse Clitoris Stimulator, $, available at Amazon

Umania Bullet Vibrator

The Hype: 4.2 out of 5 stars and 7,341 reviews

With over 5,000 five-star reviews to its credit, this 10-speed bullet vibrator gets the job done and then some (if the satisfied reviews shouting YES YES YES! are any indication). Even better? It’s currently on sale for a whopping $8. Totally worth emptying your piggy bank for. “I would give this 1000 stars if I could,” boasts one happy reviewer.

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Umania G-Spot Bullet Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Rose Sex Stimulator With Tongue

The Hype: 4.7 out of 5 stars and 104 reviews

The newest trend in clitoral stimulation? A tongue vibrator. This little thing distributes BIG pleasure with its tongue extension that moves back and forth to mimic the feel of oral sex. If that sounds good to you, don’t miss this toy, which is at its lowest price in months.

“I heard the rose licker was everyone’s new favorite toy… [and] they’re right. Between the different settings and the texture + it being delivered within two days… it’s worth the hype 100%. Get one of these asap. They make great gifts for your friends as well.”

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Brafzid Rose Vibrator With Tongue, $, available at Amazon

Diafabsvg G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator

The Hype: 5 out of 5 stars and 91 reviews

We love a rabbit vibrator for its dual-stimulating capabilities, and pleased Amazon reviewers agree. This model is only on sale in its pink color, but that doesn’t seem to have stopped anyone from enjoying it at any point in their lives.

“This little vibrator is just the kick-start needed for my partner and me! It’s just not for me but him as well. Us older folks still have fun in bed and love trying new stuff we never dreamt of when we were younger. It’s not too big or too small however does feel a bit tight. But that’s okay because the various vibration speed and or intensity is all you need. Seems to work well with all the different lubricants out there. The battery charge lasts about 2 hours so I may get another one just in case (laughing here but I’m serious). Yes it’s well priced and quality is perfect. Thumbs up here!” —Amazon Reviewer

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diafabsvg G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Tracy’s Dog Clitoral Sucking Vibrator for Clit G-Spot Stimulation (OG Pro 2)

The Hype: 4.6 out of 5 stars and 719 reviews

“Disclaimer: You will need to be either alone or comfortable with your partner to use this because there is no acting cute [or] muffled sounds, this thing will make you scream, growl, claw, bite, or cut it off to breathe and come back to yourself. You will need an Aspirin or Tylenol, a glass of water, a towel, and a moment to gather your thoughts afterwards… It’s so intense……and a must-have in the collection. But beware, this type of power must have some unknown consequences. Play at your own risk.” —Anonymous Amazon Reviewer

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Tracy’s Dog Tracy’s Dog Clitoral Sucking Vibrator for Clit G-Spot S, $, available at Amazon

Luuvee G-Spot Finger Bullet Vibrator

The Hype: 4.6 out of 5 stars and 310 reviews

This smooth vibrator is made of waterproof silicone, so you can stimulate anywhere you want with ease. But whether you choose to use it underwater or on dry land, fans are into its nine powerful speed modes.

“I decided to buy this tool and holy smoking left-handed shifter, I am able to control myself and not peg pleasure quickly. I am able to control myself and choose the time to see paradise. Oh my, boy do I see paradise. It is a pleasure and, for me, a much-needed event. The endorphins that fill me after is amazing. I am older and lately have had issues with achieving orgasm. This tool has brought back a spring to my step and roses to my cheeks! Heehee.
As the old saying goes….try it, you will like it.”

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LUUVEE G-Spot Finger Bullet Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

PlusOne Rabbit Vibrator

The Hype: 4.4 out of 5 stars and 1,023 reviews

“This vibrator is definitely among the best I’ve owned, especially considering the price — it feels like a product 2-3x the price. It’s super powerful and can contort into almost any position you need it to. It’s silicone, easy to wash, and won’t melt or turn toxic over time (assuming regular cleansing). It has plenty of vibration patterns, though you can only cycle forward through them which can be a pain. The rechargeable battery is a great addition, especially as the charger is USB compatible, but I’m a little wary of the port design as it doesn’t seem like it will remain moisture-tight over time. Overall, though, if you want a nice rabbit-style vibe, you honestly cannot go wrong with this toy.”

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plusOne Rabbit Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Zemalia G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator

The Hype: 4.2 out of 5 stars and 514 reviews

Heat up the bedroom with this rabbit vibrator that includes a warming shaft. “LOVE this toy,” raves one reviewer. “It’s such a nice texture, the warming function is really nice, it’s the strongest I’ve ever used, occasionally too strong haha, and the double action is amazing. I’ve had THE best orgasms with this toy!!”

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Zemalia Rabbit Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Wearable Panty Clitoris and G-Spot Vibrator With Wireless Remote

The Hype: 4.2 out of 5 stars and 455 reviews

“This thing took me by surprise. For its size, the vibrations are powerful! I almost jumped out of my seat when I tried it the first time. I usually have trouble climaxing with vibrators, but this definitely got the job done. Very fun to use with a partner and very discrete! Definitely my new go-to when I want to make my dates more exciting.” —Darcy Neal, Amazon Reviewer

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MEROURII Wearable Panty Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

G-Spot Clitoral Anal Vibrator With 7 Vibration Modes

The Hype: 5 out of 5 stars and 3 reviews

“This product exceeds my imagination.. it is mind-blowing. It takes me to heights I have never been before, that I din’t know existed for me. OMG. I can’t get over it I just found my new boyfriend. I will recommend it 100% it’s worth it.” —Cheryl Miles, Amazon Reviewer

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SHARP GUARD G-Spot Clitoral Anal Vibrator Sex Toy with 7 Vibration, $, available at Amazon

Phanxy Rabbit Vibrator with Heating Function

The Hype: 4.4 out of 5 stars and 1,839 reviews

“Using the dual motors and heating at the same time has created something so intense I may start to believe in God. I have seen the gates and the archangels after this product. I may even not have depression anymore. I’m usually a cheap person and nearly didn’t get it because of the $35 price, but I now realize that it was an absolute steal for this priceless item.” —Anonymous Amazon Reviewer

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Phanxy G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Wiggling Wearable Vibrator Mimic Finger Quiet Panty Vibrator

The Hype: 4.0 out of 5 stars and 2,874 reviews

“The Wiggling Wearable Vibrator Mimic Finger is awesome! It stimulates all the right spots, it was a lot of fun to have my partner teasing me at their will. The toy is really powerful, after checking it out my partner found the setting that got me going the most. By the time he was ready to get it on, I had cum several times so I was extra sensitive and so wet when the time came for sex. He and I definitely approve, it’s an awesome way to add some variety to your sex life.” —Anonymous Amazon Reviewer

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SEXY SLAVE Wiggling Wearable Vibrator Mimic Finger, $, available at Amazon

plusOne Bullet Vibrator

The Hype: 4.5 out of 5 stars and 6,009 reviews

A bullet vibrator for only $13? We understand why over 6,000 Amazon shoppers are pleased with this purchase. The easy-to-use discreet vibe does the job every time, and it’ll barely cost you anything.

“This little contraption is packed with BIG energy, in many intensities and patterns. Its texture is so soft and smooth. Very simple to turn in and off, and cycle through vibrations. The only downside is that because it’s so smooth and small, if you have arthritis, carpel tunnel syndrome, or any hand strength issues, this lil one may not be the best option for you. It’s hard to hold onto. But it delivers!”

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plusOne Bullet Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Panty Vibrator with App Control Vibrating Eggs

The Hype: 4.6 out of 5 stars and 153 reviews

“This is the perfect toy for couples! My husband is in charge of the remote and he enjoys watching me enjoy the different modes this toy has. You won’t be disappointed!!” —Anonymous Amazon Reviewer

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FEBIA Wearable Panty Vibrator with App Control, $, available at Amazon

Bombex Beaded Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator

The Hype: 4.0 out of 5 stars and 1,529 reviews

“I’m recently disabled, recovering from paralysis of my limbs. I’m also stuck in a nursing home so it’s hard to find physical intimacy. This thing did exactly what needed to be done. It was easy to use, even with low dexterity in my hands.” —Jamilah, Amazon Reviewer

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BOMBEX Beaded Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Phanxy Clitoral Licking Tongue Rose Vibrator

The Hype: 4.1 out of 5 stars and 1,872 reviews

R29 shoppers went through a tongue vibrator phase last summer when this easy-to-grip oral sex toy from Phanxy reigned supreme. It’s back on sale in a big way (almost 40% off!), and you’re not going to want to miss out on that kind of discount for its over-the-top pleasure.

“Based on the price, I wasn’t expecting to be blown away, but geez was I wrong. I’ve been blown away quite a few times… Also easy to clean and waterproof. I keep mine in my shower most of the time! It’s literally my new favorite toy.”

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Phanxy Sucking Licking Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Phanxy Dual-Stimulating Waterproof Couples Vibrator

The Hype: 4.2 out of 5 stars and 13,160 reviews

“This unit is the perfect size! It is small enough to travel with, but powerful enough to do exactly what you need it to do. My partner really enjoys the remote control feature [and] being able to control what is happening while watching it all unfold. There are multiple vibration settings, so there is something for everyone! Highly recommend!” —AB, Amazon reviewer

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Pink Fun Long Distance Bluetooth Wearable Panty Couple Vibrator

The Hype: 4.6 out of 5 stars and 334 reviews

Going long distance doesn’t have to mean killing your sex life. Not with this app-connected couples vibrator, at least. “Well, I’ve started a loving long-distance relationship, where the use of video calls is a lifeline, and this has developed into a way of exploring our relationships further whilst distance creates a barrier,” raves one reviewer. “The hook of spicing up ‘long-distance loving’ sounded like an exciting addition to an already thrilling experience of shared pleasure that we have been creating for each other. The strength of my love and potential for this to create additional connection and closeness was worth a try — and to date it really hasn’t disappointed, in my eyes (& other parts of me) it’s worth the investment! It works — on all levels!!”

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Pink Fun Remote Control G-Spot Bluetooth Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Soyive Clitoral Sucking Vibrator

The Hype: 4.8 out of 5 stars and 148 reviews

“First of all, I love the colour. Also, the sucking and vibrating have so many different settings so you can choose whatever you like, the power and the frequency etc. It is also almost silent, because I live with other people, that was very important to me. You can use both of the options at the same time so I think you can arouse yourself easily, just let the toy do its own thing. One time charged battery goes more than two weeks. I recommend it a lot.” —Seda, Amazon Reviewer

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SOYIVE Clitoral Sucking Vibrator Sex Toys, $, available at Amazon

Beauty Sponge Clitoral Licking Vibrator

The Hype: 4.8 out of 5 stars and 9 reviews

“It’s a little smaller than palm size[,] like a wet beauty blender. I’d say this is a great toy if you’re newer to the toy world and just looking to experiment. The vibration on this thing is super strong, so don’t let the size fool you. This is now one of my favorite toys, and I use it almost daily. It gets you off in no time so the battery life on it is pretty long. 10/10 would recommend.” —Bobbi Gordon, Amazon Reviewer

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Charmelle Beauty Sponge Clitoral Licking Vibrator, $, available at Amazon

Shibari Mini Halo Plus Massage Wand Vibrator

The Hype: 4.6 out of 5 stars and 906 reviews

“Listen. I’ve purchased $100+ massagers and massagers listed on top-of-the-line sites. This massager cleared my acne, watered my crops, and let me ascend to a higher plane of existence. I am introducing this massager to my family at the next wedding as my long-term, committed boyfriend. He will show up in a tie and board shorts. He can wear whatever he wants for the frequency with which he’ll work a knot out 7 times in ten minutes. This massager made me religious. It made me believe in love. It is ruining the lives of my neighbors who are undoubtedly exhausted by the number of two a.m. ~massages~ I am getting but like, grab your own…” —Brianna Shrum, Amazon Reviewer

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