Finding the perfect sex toy as a queer person can be tricky, let alone finding the ideal couple’s sex toy — and even more so if you both have vaginas. “For consumers that exist outside the margins… Queer, trans, gender non-conforming, intersex and/or with disabilities — it’s almost impossible to find sex toys that cater to their communities and identities,” Model View Culture pointed out in an essay, and we couldn’t help but agree.
When I embarked on my first WLW relationship and went to search for “queer sex toys for women,” I was shocked by the sparse results. It shouldn’t have been surprising, given how the booming sexual wellness industry has long catered to the heterosexual cis binary. Still, I was disappointed by the array of dildos, which were extremely phallic-looking (for many people, including me, this can be triggering or unwanted). Not to mention, the strap-ons and harnesses were mostly small, tapered, and specifically for pegging, rather than vaginal penetration. There also were limited couples’ sex toy options for women who preferred no penetration at all. Being in a queer relationship in today’s political landscape is hard enough; finding your way to great sex shouldn’t be another unnecessary barrier.
In order to help you (and me, to be honest), I went digging through all the queerest corners of online sex shops to find the best-of-the-best sex toys that are made for (and in a lot of cases, by!) queer women. From oral sex toys to whisper-quiet vibrators to a one-of-a-kind scissoring sex toy, this list has everything you could ever want or need to stock your sapphic sex stash and queer-friendly cabinet of horny curiosities. Full disclosure, most of our results were found by searching with the less-inclusive term “lesbian sex toys,” but we want to acknowledge that we know the WLW umbrella includes a vast span of sexualities and genders, and this list is for them, too. Ahead, keep reading for the best lesbian sex toys out there (and beyond), according to the queer women who love them.
All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.
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If you’re just beginning your lesbian sex toy search, start with sex toy retailer Wet For Her, whose products are designed by lesbians, for lesbians. The CEO, Alice Derock, says she was disappointed that the adult novelty industry “lacked non-phallic items specifically geared towards the lesbian community.” So she created a line of toys that cater to queer women. We love this scissoring vibrator, which is the only one of its kind. Its unique shape is perfect for some good, good vulva-to-vulva stimulation.
“The strength of the vibration really surprised me, and this is coming from someone who almost exclusively uses high-power wands as vibrators. I highly recommend considering buying one for each of you, as it made a big difference in our experience. We tried it once with just one of us wearing it, and then tried it with both of us wearing one. We haven’t gone back to using just one since. The two RockHers work great together…I have also used it while using a strap-on, and hands down, this is better than using a bullet vibe with a strap-on.” — Wet For Her reviewer
Shop Wet For Her
Wet For Her Rockher Mini Scissoring Vibrator, $, available at Wet For Her
This double-ended pleasure tool is perfectly curved to find both your G-spots when sharing. Though this dildo is a bit on the pricier side, the stainless steel is built to last and doles out orgasmic bliss again and again without burning out the motor. We particularly love this material for temperature play or underwater for an extra-sexy bath time.
“When it comes to G-spot stimulation, it would be hard to find a dildo that delivers in the same way that the Le Wand Arch does. Made of stainless steel, this perfectly shaped dildo is enough to make anyone a believer in the G-spot orgasm. Want to take it up a notch? Use it for temperature play since the metal holds hot and cold in a way that silicone just can’t.” — Le Wand reviewer
Shop Le Wand
Le Wand Arch, $, available at Le Wand
If you’re new to pegging or strap-ons in general, Lovehoney really sets you up for success with this accessible yet ample pegging bundle. For under $50, you’ll receive a five-inch dildo, three graduated strap-on rings (you know, in case you want to swap out that dildo for a girthier model), and an adjustable harness. We appreciate the sleek aesthetics of the kit; there’s something really sexy about the matte black dildo and spartan harness, and Lovehoney reviewers agree. The kit has earned a 4.6-star average rating on the site from over 270 reviewers who love it for vaginal and anal play. Plus, the dildo is hollow, so you and your partner can slip a little bullet vibe inside if you’d like.
“My partner uses this with and without the strap, and gives me immense pleasure! The dildo is flexible and a good size for everyone. Easy to use and easy to clean.” —Lovehoney reviewer
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Lovehoney Beginner’s Unisex Clear Strap-On Harness Kit 6 Inch, $, available at Lovehoney
The Yumi Finger Vibe by VeDo is recommended by the queers over at Wet For Her for a few reasons. First, the unique shape allows you to grip it between your index and middle fingers, rather than just sliding it onto one finger (clearly designed by a queer woman who knows). Second, the silky smooth silicone and pointed nub allow for both broad and targeted vibrations. Along with your fingers? Perfection. But best of all, this thing is super discreet. It’s so quiet that you and your gal pal can ramp up your sex session with no risk of being overheard.
“We got this toy to enhance solo and partner play, and it did not disappoint. Strong vibrations can be felt by my wife and me. This is the perfect device to provide multiple orgasms!” — Wet For Her reviewer
Shop Wet For Her
VeDO Yumi Finger Vibrator, $, available at Wet For Her
If your preferred pleasure requires only one person enjoying penetration at a time, there’s no better staple than a great harness. As well as creating unique lesbian sex toys like the RockHer, Wet For Her also has what many reviewers call the “best harness” they’ve used. The site has an option for creating a strap-on kit with your preferred dildo and harness, but we recommend going straight for this brief style, which boasts a 4.8 out of 5-star rating. With no straps to fiddle around with and a wide range of sizes (XS-5XL!), this harness is built to fit anyone and stay secure for long-lasting pleasure. It’s particularly great for beginners. If you’re looking for your first harness, we highly recommend it.
“The material is soft and stretchy, and the waistband is heavy duty. The harness feels well-made, the ring is slightly stretchy, and there are two secret pockets inside the front and crotch to hold small vibes for the wearer! In practice, my partner and I found the ring was placed at the perfect height for holding a toy for penetrative sex — not too high, not too low. It shipped quickly in a plain opaque bag like the kind you’d receive clothing in, from a return address listed as WFH. Overall, getting and using this harness has been a very smooth and positive first experience!” — Wet For Her reviewer
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Wet For Her Brief Underwear Strap-On Harness and Packer, $, available at Wet For Her
Listen, we lesbians and queers sure love us some cunnilingus. Whether you’re pleasing yourself or your vulva-endowed partner, Womanizer makes some of the best sex toys that feel like receiving oral sex. The Liberty 2 is an even more compact iteration of the brand’s signature suction vibrator, and it uses Pleasure Air Technology to suck and massage your clitoris without ever actually touching it. This sucker (pun intended) even comes with a trusty travel cover, so you and your boo can smash on-the-go
“My OH very much enjoys the Womanizer Liberty. Maybe a little too much, haha. Battery life is good and pretty quiet for being so powerful.” — Womanizer reviewer
Shop Womanizer
Womanizer Liberty 2, $, available at Womanizer
If there’s one thing we know about lesbian sex toys, it’s that anything that emulates oral is a must-have. This rose blew up on TikTok during Covid days, but it’s not going anywhere any time soon. With out-of-this-world clitoral suction, it’ll help you get to orgasm again and again. Take this one out when your partner is out of town, or use it to play together — it’s just as good to help when her mouth needs a break or is otherwise engaged.
“This toy far exceeded any of the others I’ve used. It is in a league all of its own. Very easy to operate and has many different modes.” — Amazon reviewer
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Gasevimo Rose Vibrator, $, available at Amazon
Nonbinary humpers and grinders, come hither. There’s just something about getting your rocks off with a happy-looking, gender-inclusive Starfish — as opposed to, say, a realistic dildo or even a suction toy — that really scratches our nonbinary itch for gender-expansive sex toys. Starsi is a bestseller at Cute Little Fuckers for that reason alone, and it packs five speeds and patterns that utilize deep, rumbling sensations to stimulate your clit, penis, gooch, cooch, and other erogenous zones.
“As a gender non-conforming gay person, I’ve been wanting to invest in an external vibrator, and y’all… this did not disappoint! There are 10 vibrational settings!! 10!! Perfect for mixing things up and edging yourself (if that’s what you’re into). Also the design truly allows for experiencing different sensations from the tips of the star points to the base and more. The silicone is super soft, and the color is gorgeously vibrant. Really lives up to the brand name of Cute Little Fuckers.” — Cute Little Fuckers reviewer
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Cute Little Fuckers Starsi, $, available at Cute Little Fuckers
The LGBTQ+ section at sex toy retailer Lovehoney is hopping. Though most of the site is pretty het, it acknowledges the need to be as inclusive as possible, not just during Pride but all year long. As well as a gender-neutral toy section, there’s also a plethora of different shaped and sized strap-ons and harnesses for queer couples who prefer penetration. We’re huge fans of this strapless strap-on, which requires no other equipment (but it is compatible with Lovehoney’s harness if you crave some extra support) and uses an ultra-powerful bullet to send three speeds and seven vibrations down its bendable seven-inch shaft.
“It can be SO hard to find strap-ons (strapless or otherwise) that don’t look like penises, which is an enormous turn-off for me. So when I saw this, I just had to try it! When not inside the strap-on, the bullet vibrations are VERY strong (like leaping out of your hand strong), so probably not for use on its own! However, this means that once inside the strap-on, the vibrations carry very well along the whole length and are great for both the giver and receiver. One thing I noticed was that it had quite a weight to it, which did make me wonder whether there would be issues keeping it inside me/my girlfriend during use (neither of us do kegel exercises at all). However, this turned out not to be an issue at all! The bulb inserted into the wearer tapers to a very small diameter at the entrance of the vagina, which means that your muscles naturally clench around it and keep the bulb inside. I can certainly say that this was very secure throughout use, even though I tend to be very well lubricated naturally (which has caused issues with strapless strap-ons before). Also, if you need extra security, this strap-on fits perfectly into the Lovehoney harness briefs.” — Lovehoney reviewer
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Lovehoney Posable Rechargeable Strapless Strap-On Vibrator, $, available at Lovehoney
Start your sex sesh anytime and anywhere with this app-controlled panty vibe, which perfectly cups the pelvis for low, rumbling stimulation. We’re fans of this model for its ergonomic shape and adjustable fit, which suit all kinds of bodies. Get one to swap between you and your partner, or grab two for simultaneous play — together or apart. Bring it home while it’s 25% off.
“Let me tell you, this was powerful pleasure… The secret to success is to wear tight-fitting panties for the vibe to stay in place for the ultimate in pleasure and remote play. The vibe is honestly quiet. You can wear this in public and play without it being heard; [having] a cocktail in a beach bar while your SO plays with the remote app is 10/10! If you’re just starting out or want to spice things up, this is definitely the place to start.” — We-Vibe reviewer
Shop We-Vibe
We-Vibe Moxie+, $, available at We-Vibe
If you already have a harness but want to make things a bit more comfortable (and pleasurable) for the partner who is wearing it, look no further than this toy from Wet for Her. The cover is made of super supple silicone and designed to be worn at the base of a dildo, providing extra padding and stimulation to the wearer.
“It elevates the experience, and it prevents bruising during grinding. I couldn’t be happier with my purchase. The silicone is super soft and has a lot of give to it, and it is easy to clean and fit into the bases.” — Wet for Her Reviewer
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Wet For Her BumpHer Strap-On Dildo Base Cover And Cushion, $, available at Wet For Her
Unbound Babes is a great option for those who want lesbian sex toys that are beautiful, body-safe, and buzz-worthy. The Bender is the cutting-edge sexual wellness brand’s double-ended, 10-speed vibrator, which can be adjusted for G-spot, clitoral, or dual-stimulation. The multifunctional vibe can satisfy both you and your partner simultaneously via 10 powerful speeds and patterns, so you can figure out what you both like together. Our pro tip? Use it separately before trying it out together to figure out what angle works best for each of you.
“The Bender vibrator is an overwhelmingly powerful toy. My partner and I weren’t expecting how strong it would be. It worked quickly, and it’s the perfect shape for anyone. I have a tilted uterus, so sometimes toys can be uncomfortable, but the Bender’s ability to be bent to fit your body was an awesome selling point! It fits snug in between my partner and me, or it bends to hit the spot just right in solo play!” — Unbound reviewer
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Unbound Babes Bender, $, available at Unbound Babes
If you’re someone who leans more toward needing clitoral stimulation, a small finger vibrator is a great option. Myisha Battle, a certified sex and dating coach, recommends this option from Dame for giving the clitoris attention with one hand, allowing the other to be freed up for “other types of stimulation.” Small but impactful, this is a great addition to queer sex you’ll never do without again. Reviewers love its size, which allows for maximum body contact and intimacy.
“I used to use a larger but still small vibrator that was harder to fit in between us during sex and easy to slip out of position at inopportune moments. I think it is strong enough, it’s not a super duper powerful vibrator but most people probably don’t need that. I have powerful vibrators and never use them at full capacity, so I don’t mind the limited range of this one. I love its size and unique grip. It’s definitely something to make partnered sex better.” — Dame reviewer
Shop Dame
Dame Fin, $, available at Dame
Nonbinary folks with vaginas, look no further for all your sex toy needs than the line of gender-neutral vibrators at Cute Little Fuckers. The inclusive brand was founded by and for nonbinary people in an attempt to make sex toys more accessible, and they have succeeded in spades. This dual-stimulating vibrator has pleased couples still in the process of figuring out how to incorporate sex toys into their routines. And they particularly love how easy it is to hold and handle while maneuvering. If penetration isn’t for you, we recommend the brand’s virally popular Starsi, which can nestle perfectly between two vulvas for buzz-worthy clitoral stimulation.
“As an absolute beginner, I found Jix and Jin wonderfully approachable. The shape and size of Jix make them very gentle, and Jin makes them very easy to handle when playing solo. I also love how soft they are and how there is just enough give and firmness hit all the right spots.” — Cute Little Fuckers reviewer
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Cute Little Fuckers Jix, $, available at Cute Little Fuckers
Looking for a lesbian sex toy that screams your sexuality? This silicone dildo is made with the colors of the lesbian flag for a fun way to express your pride. It also comes in trans-specific colors and just a general rainbow for whatever your identity is. Great in your hand or in your harness, this is a classic dildo you can’t go wrong with.
“Looks great, feels great, what more could you ask for out of a toy? The colors are super vibrant IRL, and it’s great to be f****d with pride <3" — Amazon Reviewer
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Blush Novelties Avant P3-5.5″ Silicone Dildo, $, available at Amazon
Okay, nipple clamps aren’t exclusively a lesbian sex toy, but if you’re a person who enjoys nipple stimulation during sex, this is a must-have. Attach this adjustable, necklace-like toy to both your nipples and clit with the aluminum and steel metal camps. It adds a little something extra to your pleasure, and we love that it easily fits all kinds of body shapes and sizes.
“The added chain weight on these due to the lower third clamp is great, and the tug really heightens the sensation.” — Amazon Reviewer
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SPARTACUS Y Style Adjustable Broad Tip Nipple Clamps, $, available at Amazon
“I love this Enigma; first of all, it’s just gorgeous, a deep rose color. It’s easy to adjust to get it to hit the right spots, and then the settings take me for a great ride. I sleep well after my time with Enigma.” — Lelo Reviewer
Shop Lelo
LELO Enigma Cruise, $, available at LELO
Reviewers say: “My partner got this for me and I can’t say thank you enough. It is phenomenal. There are so many combinations and it doesn’t get boring. Simply amazing orgasms.”
SONA SONA™ Cruise, $, available at LELO
If you’re new to pegging or strap-ons in general, Lovehoney really sets you up for success with this accessible yet ample pegging bundle. For under $50, you’ll receive a five-inch dildo, three graduated strap-on rings (you know, in case you want to swap out that dildo for a girthier model), and an adjustable harness. We appreciate the sleek aesthetics of the kit; there’s something really sexy about the matte black dildo and spartan harness, and Lovehoney reviewers agree. The kit has earned a 4.6-star average rating on the site from over 270 reviewers who love it for vaginal and anal play. Plus, the dildo is hollow, so you and your partner can slip a little bullet vibe inside if you’d like.
“Really easy to use…slipped in great with lube…could use it all night long. Great for beginners and those into mild sub/dom use.”— Lovehoney reviewer
Shop Lovehoney
Lovehoney Unisex Strap-On Harness Kit with 5 Inch Pegging Dildo, $, available at Lovehoney
If there’s one thing I know about lesbian sex toys, it’s that anything that emulates oral is a must-have. The rose blew up on TikTok during Covid days, but it’s not going anywhere any time soon. With out-of-this-world clitoral suction, it’ll help you get to orgasm again and again. I like to take this one out when my girlfriend is out of town, but it’s just as good to help when her mouth needs a break or otherwise engaged.
“Multiple orgasm alert! Mind-blowing. Super overwhelmingly pleasurable in the best way. It’s such a small device that my partner and I didn’t expect it to be so fantastic.” — PinkCherry Reviewer
Shop PinkCherry
inya Rose Suction Vibrator, $, available at PinkCherry
This works when one partner inserts the “bulb into their vagina, and then closes her legs. Thanks to your PC muscles (your pelvic floor), it stays in place and you’ll be ready to penetrate your partner.
Reviewers say: Although some say there’s a “learning curve” to using the device, others say it’s a great fit, especially if you’re looking for a smaller double dildo.
Wet For Her DOUBLE DILDO VIBRATING FOUR BLACK SMALL SIZE 4.7 INCH, $, available at Wet For Her
The “ears” are made of soft silicon, so this toy is all about adjusting pressure to your — and your partner’s — liking. Can you say: “clitoral stimulation?”
Reviewers say: “My top priority in a clitoral vibe is that it should be easy, comfortable and effective to use during sex,” one review says. “It’s taken me a while to type up this review because honestly, this toy ticked all the boxes for me.”
Ann Summers Moregasm+ Rabbit Ears, $, available at Ann Summers
Sex therapist and clinical psychologist Ursula Ofman, Psy.D recommends this small, waterproof “Mystic Wand” on her website.
Reviewers say: “This is my favorite toy I own. It can be very powerful, for anyone looking for a strong but reasonably sized vibrator. It’s a great size for play with a partner or individual.”
Vibratex Vibratex Mystic Wand Silicone, Pink/White, $, available at Amazon
This waterproof, silicon is described as “the strap-on-less strap on.”
Reviewers say: “I highly recommend this for any couple looking to spice up there life… There are no issues with it staying in either.”
Fun Factory Fun Factory Adult Share Vibe Couples Sex Toy, $, available at Amazon
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This article was originally published on refinery29.com.
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