January is a special month for Paris Jackson. The artist celebrated five years of sobriety on Jan. 8 with an emotional Instagram post that gave a glimpse into Jackson’s struggles with addiction, her eventual recovery, and the sober lifestyle she’s so “thankful” to have now.
In the video, Jackson, one of Michael Jackson’s three children, shares clips of herself drinking, smoking, and partying — alongside shots of the star crying and even curled up in tears. As the reel continues, we watch the singer transition into recovery as she shows off her sobriety coins and enjoys time with friends, making music, rock-climbing, hiking, and sharing kisses with her bandmate and fiancé, Justin Long.
It’s a deeply intimate look into Jackson’s life over the past few years, and in the caption, the 26-year-old shares even more.
“Hi, i’m pk and i’m an alcoholic and a heroin addict,” she begins, adding that she’s marking five years “clean and sober” from all drugs and alcohol.
“To say that i’m thankful would be a poor euphemism,” Jackson continues. “Gratitude hardly scratches the surface.” She goes on to detail the things she’s able to do because of her recovery. “It’s because i’m sober that i get to smile today,” Jackson writes. “I get to make music. I get to experience the joy of loving my dogs and cat. I get to feel heartbreak in all it’s glory. I get to grieve. I get to laugh. I get to dance. I get to trust. I feel the sun on my skin and it’s warm.”
It’s not the first time that Jackson has opened up about her past with substance abuse. In a 2017 Rolling Stone profile, Jackson revealed that struggles with depression and drugs had led her to a dark place, including “multiple” suicide attempts. “It was just self-hatred,” she told the publication, “low self-esteem, thinking that I couldn’t do anything right, not thinking I was worthy of living anymore.” Some of her tattoos, she added, cover the scars from her self-harm and track marks from drug use.
Eight years later, Jackson’s Instagram video and emotional caption serve as a beautiful ode to the richness of her sober lifestyle, something Jackson clearly doesn’t take for granted. In the post, she explains the realization that “life keeps happening regardless of whether i’m sober or not, but today I get to show up for it.” She describes the video as “a little snapshot of what has been possible because of my sobriety… I can’t believe i almost missed it all.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or thoughts of suicide, there are resources available to help. Call or text 988 to reach the Crisis Lifeline, or visit 988lifeline.org to chat online and access more resources.
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This article was originally published on sheknows.com.