There’s no couple on Earth that never fights. It’s a fact of life — if you spend your life with someone, there will be disagreements along the way, especially once you throw raising kids into the mix. But should you fight in front of your kids? Should they be able to see you having disagreements — or even full-on fights? This couple on TikTok says yes, and once you hear their reasoning, you might agree.
In a now-viral video, mom Nika Diwa explains why she and her partner don’t make any attempt to hide their fights from their kids.
The video shows them having a full-on argument while Diwa holds their toddler daughter in her lap. In captions written over the top of the video, she explains their reasoning for letting their daughter see all sides of their partnership — the good, the bad, and even the sometimes ugly.
@nikadiwa Unpopular opinion but… #parenting #conflictresolution #teachingkids ♬ Little Things – Adrian Berenguer
“It’s important for kids to learn how to navigate healthy conflict,” she writes. “We let them watch mom and dad disagree respectfully and work towards unity and resolution. This helps set them up for healthy conflict resolution as they grow up.”
While the video started out tense, by the end, Diwa and her partner are both smiling, and they even lean in to share a kiss. Their toddler is smiling, too. It’s clear that the argument they were having is now behind them. And they’re right — by letting their little girl witness them working through it, they modeled conflict resolution for her in a positive way. That’s a lesson she can learn by watching it play out in front of her, and it’ll be valuable as she grows up and starts navigating relationships of her own.
Of course, this comes with the caveat that it’s only positive if you and your partner have healthy, productive fights. Yelling, physical altercations, and abuse are not healthy behaviors to model for kids. But if you work together to solve the inevitable conflicts that arise in your relationship, that’s a great thing to let your kids see.