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A kiss on the hand might be quite continental, but diamonds are a clit’s best friend — that’s how the song goes, right? If not, it should. Because, as Valentine’s Day gifting starts to ramp up, we’re here to tell you what she really wants for the holiday of love: a suction vibrator.
As far as self-love products go, nothing has shot to popularity (and stayed there) more than the viral rose suction vibrator. It shook the internet (and clits everywhere) back in 2020 and has remained a staple in our carts for the last four years. And with Valentine’s Day looming around the corner, grabbing a mechanical rose that will dole out pleasure long after your bouquets of long-stems have withered away just makes sense.
However, the original viral rose is no longer in production. Meaning each rose you use is actually a variation on the original — and these replicas differ not only in price range but in effectiveness. While we’ve tried a handful of them with great success, we’re always on the lookout for the “next rose” — whatever that toy might be. And we’re bold enough to say: we think we’ve found it. From the retailer that exclusively distributes Playboy’s line of sex toys, Lovers, comes a shiny new toy that’s destined to distribute some shimmer to your toy collection. And now through January 31, it’s a whopping 20% off with code LOVEYOU. If you’re a person who knows that diamonds are forever, it’s time to invest in some bling and try out the Jewel.
At first glance, the jewel looks more like a regular toy than anything belonging in a sex toy box. Its bubblegum pink cover has a glossy finish that makes the whole thing reminiscent of a ring pop or a piece of treasure grabbed by a claw at a carnival, conveniently hiding the suction divot from plain sight.
The jewel’s real worth, though, is located beneath its shiny exterior. Which initially confounded me. Maybe I hadn’t had enough caffeine, but it took me a hot minute to figure out that I needed to remove the cap in order to use this vibrator. It just looked so pretty and complete that I didn’t realize the cap was, in fact, a cover, and I was a little confused as to where the suction played in as I vibrated the whole jewel in my hand. With a little bit of finagling and prying with my too-short fingernails, I did manage to remove the cap, which was a bit of an arousal buzzkill, but once I had that all figured out, I was trés impressed.
Once the cap is removed, it reveals a large suction hole. Not to be too graphic while talking about holes, but I think this is really where the magic of this sparkler lies. Via seven suction intensities, the jewel’s mouth creates a vacuum-like vortex of non-touch air pulsing stimulation (much like the rose). Unlike the rose, though, the jewel’s wider and deeper mouth is able to suck in more surface area, which felt on par with luxury vibrators thrice its cost. Because of its wider grip, I felt like I was able to move around a lot more than I would with my rose, too. I’d read a review from a pleased customer saying that it was especially fun to use during doggy style, which I was definitely intrigued about. I’m a person who is pretty low-key about my masturbation efforts, especially regarding positions. I find that lying back with my legs butterflied is usually the best way to stimulate myself to orgasm. But this review had me feeling all kinds of curious, and I was thoroughly impressed that the jewel stayed completely latched on, even as I moved from my back to my knees. I could definitely see how couples would enjoy using it together, as it was strong enough to stay put, no matter how much I jostled it.
I have to say that is a huge improvement over many suction vibrators I use and love, which release their suction and break the vacuum of stimulation if they move even the slightest amount. Not the jewel, though. She stays firmly in place. I think it was also due to the shape of the toy, which was easy to hold in the palm of my hand and press steadily against my clit due to its tapered ridges.
Among its other finer attributes, I was impressed with the toy’s quick charge via USB cable and its waterproof capabilities for shower fun. The only real flaw I could find with the jewel was its noise level. At its lowest intensity, it’s fairly quiet, but as soon as it leveled up to its second intensity, it was noticeable. By the time I pushed it up to the third speed, it was what I would deem loud. That didn’t negate its powerful suction capabilities, though, or the body-melting orgasm that wracked through my body.
Truly, if you’re looking for something to replace your burnt-out rose, I cannot recommend the jewel more. Not only for its shiny and cute appearance but for its super strong suction that stays firmly in place no matter which position you prefer to love yourself in. Do yourself a favor and grab one while it’s still 20% off.
Not into it? Lovers has a ton of other sex toys included in its Valentine’s Day promotion. Below are a few of our faves:
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