One mom is calling Fisher Price out for the “dystopian” holiday gift she bought her baby, and it’ll likely make you laugh, cringe, or cry a little bit. TikTok user @stealth_revenger shared that she “didn’t pay attention” before buying the “Like a Boss” activity center; she simply wanted something fun and interactive to help her daughter learn how to stand.
“I don’t know what they call it, but I call it ‘baby’s first cubicle,’” she said, giving a video tour of the interactive toy, which includes a mini-computer, a mouse, a cup filled with fake safety pins, and even a succulent on the desk display. Also included for good measure: a coffee cup, a calendar, a tape dispenser, an iPhone, mock earbuds, Post-Its, and “tissues, for when you need to cry because it’s your first f____g cubicle,” she mused.
The fake computer includes buttons with audio sayings like “Per my last email, let’s pencil in some playtime” and “Let’s circle back to that. I love circles.” (Nooooooo!) She also demonstrated how the phone “randomly rings,” and says things like “Whoops, I was on mute.” The “hold music” is a song, with a child singing, “I work from home. I wish I was on vacation. I’ll pretend that I’m at the beach and I’ll use my imagination,” with the mom adding her own lyrics: “Indoctrination, indoctrination.” The final recorded message asks: “Is it 5:00 yet?” (Thanks, we hate it!)
In the caption of her post, the disillusioned mama half-joked: “Capitalism is really popping off today!” Naturally, commenters were equally stunned and horrified. “This is a cry for help. Someone check on the fisher price office workers. They are NOT okay,” wrote one person. Another added that “it might seem not that deep but actually it IS that deep like 
.” Yet another wrote: “If a toddler tells me to circle back to something I’m gonna lose it.”
Some did find the humor in it, with one user writing, “BRB, incorporating ‘Let’s circle back. I LOVE circles.’ into my officespeak.” Another joked: “Kid interviewing at their first job: ‘but I have 15 yrs of experience!’” Yet another said: “Baby gonna be demanding PTO and a 401k.”
Of course, all jokes aside, introducing “work culture” to babies and toddlers is pretty dark, especially given that the toy is meant for infants to use as they grow and develop, turning into a mini standing desk so, you know, they don’t sit for too long during their workday. The activity center includes plenty of interactive toys with music, sounds, and lights to keep them busy and occupied, which is great, but the underlying message about “clocking in” is so bleak. Please let kids be kids.
Dystopian vibes aside, the toy has earned thousands of stellar reviews on Amazon. As for @stealth_revenger, she ended up giving the toy away to another family. Guess her daughter isn’t ready for that #bossbaby #SheEO life just yet. Whew.