As a mom of five, it’s a routine part of heading anywhere in public — “What do you do if you get lost?” I shout from the front of my Mom Van over the chaos. “Find a worker!” one of my kids yells back. “Find a cop!” another says. But in a viral TikTok posted by Kari Rogerson, her husband instructs their three kids to “find a mom with a crossbody purse… they know everything.”
And, TBH, his advice tracks. Some reports point to the perception that “crossbody moms” are organized, no-nonsense, and ready for anything, with an eye for the practical, not necessarily fashionable, bag. Of course that’s who you’d want in an emergency, right?
Dale Bendler, a former CIA officer and owner and founder of ONE.61 Young Adult Safety Online Course in Miami, agrees (well, at least about the mom part). “If you see another mom with kids, approach her. If there are no kids around, approach a woman or teenage girl. At the mall, park, or school — it does not matter,” he says, pointing to data that most sex offenders are male.
Of course, many dads are quite helpful, too, though the dad in the TikTok video jokes in a self-deprecating way, “Don’t find a dad. They know nothing.” Though his solid overview of what to do ahead of their mall trip says otherwise (well done!).
In response to Rogerson’s TikTok, crossbody moms themselves weighed in, confirming this advice is right on. “If you are in distress and if you need help, find one of us… we’ve already noticed!” one crossbody mom says. Commenters chimed in, too:
Bendler shares that this isn’t the only advice to pay attention to if a child is separated from their parents. He warns to keep advice simple because in a panic, everyone’s judgment can be cloudy.
So, what should you tell your kid? “Do not wander looking for Mom or Dad. Whether it’s in the city, mall, or the woods, stay put. Parents will remember the last place they saw you and come back there,” he recommends telling children. “Approach anyone in a uniform. If not too far away, enter a building or store and ask for help. Make sure your child has mom’s full name and phone number.”
Some families establish a meeting place ahead of entering a public area. Bendler says this can work depending on age, but some kids are too young for this advice. “If the child is above 10 years old and has no phone for some reason, and it is the neighborhood mall we are talking about that the family has visited a dozen times before … then there is no problem arranging to meet their favorite store,” he says.
Choose your location wisely, though, Bendler says — Starbucks isn’t a great pick because there are too many, and stores like Macy’s are just too big!
Parents can also prepare to ensure they know what to do when they are panicking. Other TikTok advice has shared expert mom tips, including a viral video instructing parents exactly what to do, such as shouting a description of your missing kid rather than yelling their name. “Start loudly looking for them, not silently looking for them — start shouting: ‘I’m looking for a boy, age 5, short brown hair, brown eyes, caucasian, red Nike t-shirt, brown shorts,’” and keep repeating that.
In addition, Bendler says there are a few other things you can do when dealing with a lost kid scenario:
A big takeaway? Start having these conversations with your kids early and openly. Whether you’re instructing them to seek out crossbody bag moms, meet up at your prearranged spot if you get split up, or both, there’s never a bad time to be proactive.
This article was originally published on scarymommy.com.
Say the word “vibrator,” and visions of a cylindrical, buzzing thing will undoubtedly come to… Read More
The Netflix hit Nobody Wants This was quite the misnomer; this was the show ~everybody~… Read More
For anyone who has gone through the process of baby-proofing a house, one of the… Read More
We all know the infamous stereotype of boy moms, right? Boy moms get a bad… Read More
For a child who struggles to pay attention and learn in school, an accurate diagnosis… Read More
Getting cheated on sucks. Betrayal from the person you’ve given your heart and body to… Read More