Sibling relationships can be hard to navigate as adults but just like with any other relationship it all starts with a good foundation.
“Frozen” actor, Kristen Bell, 42, recently spoke to TODAY about how she’s trying to cultivate the best sibling relationship between her daughters and how she wants them to always be “nice girls.”
Bell shares daughters, Lincoln, 9, and Delta, 7 with husband, Dax Shepard.
She says, “I know there’s a lot of parenting books (that say), ‘maybe don’t tell them they’re smart, congratulate the hard work,’ because words are kind of important to kids. But a kind girl, a nice girl is a label that I wanted them to own, and I want them to live the rest of their life as.”
The mom of two says that she stresses the importance of this lesson when her girls get into arguments by telling them that being “mean girls” won’t help them in this situation or any other time in life.
“When they’re fighting, I look at them, and I say, you’re going to get nothing accomplished,” Bell says.
Related: Kristen Bell says her daughters finally sleep in their own beds—and we are cheering for her 
The other parenting style she uses when it comes to her girls is encouraging them to always be on each other’s side. Yes, even when that means they “gang up” on her.
“So sometimes, (one) will be like, ‘I think I should have a dessert.’ And I’m like, ‘No,’ and the other one’s like, ‘I think she should have a dessert, too. We’re on a team.’ And I’m like, ‘Okay, then she’s gonna get a dessert’,” Bell explains.
Sibling rivalry is probably as common to parents as any other parenting milestone. No matter how close or how far apart the age gap is between your kids, chances are you’ve had to play referee more than once (a day). But, as many adults might attest to, it’s those same sibling relationships that boost you up and make you feel so very loved later on in life. For those fortunate enough to have healthy sibling relationships, your siblings are kind of like a life-long, guaranteed best friend.
On a recent episode of, “The Endless Honeymoon Podcast,” Dax Shepard shared a similar story saying that if he and Bell are ever, “giving it to” Lincoln, then younger sister Delta comes over to them and says, “You’re not being nice to Lincoln, you didn’t listen to what she said.”
Shepard also described their daughters’ relationship in the most adorable way possible saying it’s them “against the world.” He also shared that he and Bell had more than one child with the intention of their kids having a life-long friend.
Bell also added, “I want to really instill in them, ‘You are a team. We made two of you so that there would be someone for you guys when we pass, so you guys are to be the strongest relationship you have on the planet, even if you disagree. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you do have to maintain the sense of unconditional love for each other.’”