Dustin Nickerson Totally Nails What Saturdays Are Like For Parents

— @dustinnickersoncomedy / TikTok

Comedian and father of three Dustin Nickerson knows how drastically kids change your life. In a recently shared clip from his podcast, ‘Don’t Make Me Come Back There,’ he explains how different a parent’s average Saturday morning can be from the Saturday someone without kids might experience.

He takes off with a metaphor comparing the frenzied hassle of preparing for a cross-country flight to the arduous task of getting three kids ready for their Saturday activities.

“I have to get three kids in three different locations by 9 am…three call times…potentially in three different cities.”

He goes on to say, “It’s the same amount of work for a single person to fly across the country as it is for a parent to execute one Saturday morning. The same amount of logistics.” Catching a flight requires packing, prepping (or at least looking into purchase options) for multiple meals, carrying luggage, arriving for check-ins, and constantly fumbling for the right documents that tell you where to be at what time. Sound familiar?

If you have a child who plays sports or has other commitments most weekends, and especially if you have multiple children, this hectic rush out of the door on Saturdays is a way of life. Sleeping in? Brunch? I don’t know her.

In another apt parenting metaphor, Nickerson mentions juggling. “It’s like you’re juggling a thing that gets hungry. And cusses at you in front of your mom. Every Saturday.”

Wife and podcast co-host Melissa Nickerson laughs along, agreeing. Then chimes in with another key element of Saturday parenting: “And then it’s one PM and you’re just like, I’m gonna lay in the bed.” Moms who require horizontal time in the early afternoon are so my kind of people.

Agreeing, Nickerson adds, “Yes! You know what it is? Once again, I’m dehydrated.”

This busy couple gets it. In the 7am chaos that kicks off your weekend, packing a water bottle doesn’t even cross your mind. If you happen to be a non-parent enjoying a late brunch this weekend, take a big swig of water for the rest of us.

Down in the comments, parents agreed big time.

“Been up with mine since 5:30. Lived a whole life before 11 am,” wrote one weary weekend mom.

“My kids are grown now. People always told me I would miss the sports days when they were over,” another mom added. “Nope, I don’t miss it at all.”

And a few childless people weighed in with their side of the story to confirm the theory as well.

“Childless and slept til 11, it was marvelous,” one well-rested child-free person wrote.

“I’m childless and done with my chores/workout for my day by 10:45 am,” another wrote. “Keep selling that dream!”

Well, count this among the big differences between people with kids and childfree people. There are pros and cons to both, of course, but sleeping in on Saturday will remain nothing but a dream for those with kids.