A Week In The Bay Area, CA On A $122,000 Salary

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Today: a school counselor and therapist who makes $122,000 per year and who spends some of her money this week on Christmas decorations. 

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Occupation: School counselor and marriage/family therapist (private practice)
Industry: Education and mental health
Age: 35
Location: Bay Area, CA
Salary: $122,000 (my salary is $104,741 and I earn $15,000-$20,000 from private practice, so I have averaged it out for the purposes of this diary).
Assets: Checkings: $2,500; personal investments: $67,800; Roth IRA + 403(b) combined: $61,500; CALSTRS (a California educator pension program): $59,689; HYSA: $12,000.
Debt: $0
Paycheck amount (1x/month): $5,300 (school counselor income 11 months of the year) + $900-$1,200 (private practice income).
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: $1,500. I share a two-bedroom, two-bath condo with my roommate. My rent includes a garage parking spot, utilities, wi-fi, and TV subscriptions.
Loan payments: I paid off my student loans in 2020.
Phone and auto insurance: $200 (sent to my parents).
Donation: $200 (monthly support of my missionary friend in Mexico).
World Vision: $35 (child sponsorship).
Office rental: $95 (for private practice).
Yoga studio membership: $117
Spotify: $12

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, there was always an expectation for me to attend higher education. I earned a bachelor’s degree and a few years after that I went back to school for my master’s degree. I entered into a dual program in order to become a school counselor and a therapist. My parents paid for my undergraduate education and I took out loans and lived with my parents when I attended graduate school. I was able to get tuition paid for during my graduate school program through federal student aid, which was a huge money-saver for the two years of grad school.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents always told me to never spend outside my means and to never lend money that you’ll need owed back. My family lent a lot of money to a relative and the relative was never able to owe them back so I think there was some fear around that. They also emphasized saving in general and saving for retirement.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was in retail at Limited Too when I was 16. I just wanted to make money on my own. I never really got an allowance and was given money when going out with friends but during that time it was exciting to make my own money and to not ask my parents for it.

Did you worry about money growing up?
I did not. I felt like my parents always provided enough for me and my sister, so I never felt deprived. We rarely went on vacations and were never given lavish gifts but I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything due to finances. I knew when to ask if I wanted or needed something and also knew the limits around that.

Do you worry about money now?
I do — being a single person and living in a place that has gotten more and more expensive can feel overwhelming. I am technically working two jobs but it doesn’t feel like I’ll ever catch up with other lucrative fields like tech. Buying a house or even condo also feels intimidating and I am holding off from that because I’m afraid I’ll feel like I’m on a hamster wheel of paying off a mortgage I can just barely afford.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I’d say around 27 was when I became financially responsible for myself. I now have a financial safety net but for most of my 20s I did random part-time gigs and it wasn’t until I had a career that I was able to start becoming financially independent from my parents.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents gave me their car when they bought a new one.

Day One: Wednesday

6:30 a.m. — I wake up earlier than I need to, which is something that’s been happening since daylight savings. I attempt to go back to sleep and turn off my alarm. I always wake up on time anyway and the alarm just gives me anxiety and is so jarring.

8:30 a.m. — I arrive at work and one of the teachers is making copies in my office; we make small talk and I start my day. I usually start out slow by checking emails and eating my breakfast (chia seed pudding with fruit and granola). A few students stop by to say hi or check in with me for support. I lend a book — Atlas of the Heart — to one of my students so she can learn more about emotions and expand her vocabulary of “feeling words.”

11:30 a.m. — I go on lunch duty and then afterwards a student drops by so I can help her with a college application. I used to be intimidated by the process because it’s lengthy but now I’m used to it. I let my student do as much as she can on her own and help her with any material she needs such as her transcript. I then go to the auditorium to help prep for an assembly later in the day.

1 p.m. — Prior to the assembly I eat some lunch; a student stops by for a counseling session so I eat while we check in. I have a salsa verde chicken casserole — leftovers from dinner last night. I end my counseling session with my student and head to the assembly, which goes smoothly for the most part. Afterwards we have an all-staff meeting about standardized testing. It drags and it’s hard for me to stay engaged.

4 p.m. — I arrive home and am wanting to move a bit so I go on a jog/walk around the lake. When I arrive back home I have a video session with a private practice client. After my session I have dinner: salmon with veggies and rice. I head to a yoga class later in the evening.

9 p.m. — I arrive back from yoga and shower. I’m tired and try to go to bed early after reviewing my daily planner.

Daily Total: $0

Day Two: Thursday

7 a.m. — I wake up and lie in bed longer; I did not sleep well at all. I sometimes have insomnia/sleep anxiety and unfortunately last night was one of those nights.

8:30 a.m. — I arrive at work, complete some administrative tasks and present an orientation for a new student coming in. I text my girlfriends about the weekend and ask if they want to do brunch before an artisan holiday market that we all got tickets for. To my chagrin my period comes a few days early and I pop a few Advil as I feel the cramping heading on. It’s physically a hard morning so far.

10 a.m. — I’m starving and didn’t have time to make coffee or prep breakfast this morning, so I submit a pickup order at one of my favorite coffee shops: PSL and an avo toast. $18.49

12 p.m. — The day is dragging. I have a few student drop-ins to discuss schedule changes, classes, academic stuff, etc. I have lunch, which is leftovers from yesterday’s dinner (salmon and veggies). I give my sister a quick call to chat about logistics for later today because it’s my nephew’s third birthday. I offer to pick up a cake before going to my parents’ house for a family dinner to celebrate.

3 p.m. — I prep to leave work. The lack of sleep is getting to me and I feel sluggish but I need to drop by the bakery to pick up a cake and head to my parents’, which is about a 40-minute drive from work. I stop by Paris Baguette for a cake and I also get a hot mint tea to help with the period cramping and cold weather. $48.85

4 p.m. — I arrive at my parents’ house; my nephew is with them so we spend some time together. He’s been sick all week and just wants to be held so I hold him while we wait for my sister to arrive. My sister arrives and we catch up a bit from the week and have an early dinner. After dinner, we light candles on the cake and sing happy birthday to my nephew. After cake, we play with his new toy tractor and I roll it around with him while he nibbles on some dinner. They wait for my brother-in-law to arrive from work but I’m feeling tired so I head out before he comes.

6 p.m. — I leave my parents’ house and look forward to winding down at my apartment. My roommate is home when I arrive so we chat for a bit. I then watch a few episodes of Normal People. I know I’m late on this — I read the book and loved it but I was in a fragile state when the series first came out so I didn’t want to watch it then. I have some chamomile tea and scroll on my phone while watching TV.

8:30 p.m. — My cramps have kicked back in so I take more Advil and do a hot compress. It’s not late but I know I’m too tired to do anything other than lie down so I wash up, do my skincare routine and go to bed.

Daily Total: $67.34

Day Three: Friday

7 a.m. — I wake up and lie in bed a bit longer. I get up and do my usual morning routine of prepping my coffee and doing my skincare. Although I’m tired, I’m feeling a lot better today.

8:30 a.m. — When I arrive at work, a teacher and student stop by to discuss their schedule and some logistical things. I eat my usual breakfast at my desk (chia seed pudding). I catch up on some text messages and emails. I have a few drop-ins that include students and coworkers.

11 a.m. — I have lunch duty and have been reviewing transcripts all morning. This is the cut-and-dry part of my job but I mostly enjoy academic reviews and resolving problems related to scheduling, credits and classes. I remember that I wanted to cut and dye my hair and DM a friend that works as a hairstylist in Berkeley. I send him a few photos of what I have in mind and we confirm a time and date for two weeks from now.

12:30 p.m. — I eat my lunch, which is leftovers from dinner earlier this week (salsa verde chicken casserole). A few students trickle in and out for various questions and support but otherwise it’s a quiet Friday afternoon.

3 p.m. — I get ready to head to my own therapy, which I have in person every other Friday. Before I leave I jot down a few notes in a journal so I have an idea of what to address with my therapist. It’s really nice to receive therapy in person; my therapist’s office is only a 10-minute drive and although all my clients are virtual, I admit I feel a difference with in-person therapy versus virtual. I’ve been processing a breakup from a few months ago and my session feels helpful. It’s been nice to have an outside party process this time with me. $160

4:30 p.m. — I arrive home and want to go on a walk before it gets too dark. I do a quick brisk walk around my neighborhood and am craving soup so I put in a takeout order for wonton soup. $17.09

6 p.m. — I pick up my soup and head home. I eat my dinner while watching a few episodes of Sex and the City. Afterwards I give my ex a call. We’ve been trying to maintain a friendship after the breakup and while we’ve been able to keep it that way, it’s still bittersweet to stay in touch. It’s a hard conversation as we’ve been discussing the idea of getting back together but realize we’re both coming across the same issues and challenges and are just not on the same page. I’m relieved but sad when we hang up.

9 p.m. — I am feeling drained from my phone call and hop in the shower. I’m probably feeling tired all around so I go to bed after washing up.

Daily Total: $177.09

Day Four: Saturday

8:30 a.m. — I wake up and lounge a bit in bed, which feels luxurious. I wash my face and do my skincare routine. I try to hold off on drinking coffee until brunch but I cave and brew a half cup. I catch up with some text messages and make plans with another friend for later this evening in the city.

9:45 a.m. — I get ready and head out to my friend B.’s place so we can carpool to brunch and the holiday market. We head to brunch and me, B. and K. catch up over the last few weeks. We share a stack of buttermilk pancakes and a bacon and veggie omelette with potatoes. I vent a bit about my ex and where we last left off. They’re supportive and sympathetic; I’m grateful for my friends who’ve been able to sit with me through the past year of trying to figure things out. We split the bill three ways. $20

11 a.m. — We head to the market, which is in West Oakland. There’s some traffic getting there so it’s nice we carpooled and we chat together as we wait. We finally get to the market and it’s adorable but everything is super pricey and niche. After perusing the market, looking at curated home goods, scented candles, skincare items and baby knits, we decide to grab some coffees and pastries at a kiosk outside. K. suggests we stop by World Market since we didn’t really get anything at the holiday market. $9.25

1 p.m. — We head to World Market. I get two glass candlestick holders and some tapered holiday candles. I also buy mini blush-colored glass ornaments for the little Christmas tree I have. My purchases feel frivolous but I do love holiday decor and it really does spark a bit of joy for me. We leave World Market and drive back to B.’s place. We make plans to hang out again in a few weeks and I head out. $35.22

2:30 p.m. — I arrive home and heat up my leftover wonton soup from last night. The leftovers taste even better than yesterday and I devour it. I give my sister a call and we talk for a little bit. My nephew is still sick and she’s been home with him all day. I lounge for a bit and my friend R. and I text and decide on a dinner spot: a Nepalese restaurant called Base Camp in the Mission district that my roommate recommended.

4 p.m. — My body is craving a yoga workout so I sneak one in before I head to dinner. I have scoliosis and I try to do yoga three times a week. I’ve gotten so accustomed to practicing yoga that when I don’t do it, after a few days I definitely feel it both physically and mentally. The class is great and it’s taught by one of my favorite instructors. I feel refreshed and much more aligned afterwards.

5:30 p.m. — I take the BART (Bay Area train) into San Francisco. Thankfully I still have some BART fare left on my train card. R. picks me up from the station and she drives us to the restaurant. Base Camp seems to just start picking up by the time we arrive but they seat us right away. We order a kale chaat, lamb skewers, chow mein and a goat curry. Everything is delicious and flavorful; we definitely over-ordered but I’m not mad about it. Dinner is great and R. and I catch up from the past week. We split the bill. $52

8 p.m. — R.’s fiancé is just getting off work around the area so he meets us after dinner and we walk to a gelateria. I get a small scoop of a passion fruit sorbet (R. treats us). We walk back to her car, which is a 15-minute walk. It’s cold outside but I appreciate the walk after our dinner. R. drops me back off at the station and I BART back to Oakland.

9:30 p.m. — I arrive back feeling a little tired but content. I scroll on my phone for a bit, wash up, do my skincare routine and go to bed.

Daily Total: $116.47

Day Five: Sunday

8:30 a.m. — I get up slowly, wash up and do my skincare routine. I brew my coffee and opt for a simpler breakfast: ricotta toast with blackberries and some honey drizzled over it. So good. My roommate is up too so we chat a little bit. She’s going out of town for a few weeks and while I haven’t really minded having a roommate, it’s always nice to have my own space for a bit.

10 a.m. — After breakfast, I scroll through Instagram a bit and text a few friends. I get ready for church. Although I don’t go weekly, I typically try and make it to church service once a month or so.

12:30 p.m. — After church service I head home. I’m starving so I eat leftover pasta and some cake that I took from my nephew’s birthday a few days ago. I’m glad I didn’t grab lunch out, even though I was tempted to. After lunch I do a Trader Joe’s run. I always make a list of groceries before I go, otherwise I’m walking aimlessly around the store. I plan on making chicken fajitas, beef stew and roasted seasonal vegetables and sausage sheet pan dinner for the week, so I grab ingredients for all those along with some snacks and breakfast items. $72.32

3 p.m. — I meet up with my sister and we do a TJ Maxx run — I grab a candle, a bottle of shampoo and some more holiday decor. Afterwards we take a short walk around her neighborhood and I head back to my apartment. $33.54

5:30 p.m. — Once I go back to my apartment I start doing laundry. I hate doing laundry because I feel like I’m constantly going back and forth through the apartment complex, but I know I’m lucky to have laundry in the building. I turn on a cheesy holiday movie in the background and start dinner; I roast some brussels sprouts, butternut squash and onion in the air fryer with some spicy chicken sausage. I drizzle a honey dijon dressing over the veggies. I store the leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

7 p.m. — I finish up laundry, prep my breakfast for the week and start the dishwasher. I watch a few episodes of Sex and the City and then hop in the shower. After my shower I finish the book that I’ve been reading throughout the month: Exit West. I know reviews were mixed but I personally loved it and thought it was such a special and poignant read. The ending is bittersweet as expected and matches my energy and mood that I’ve been carrying lately.

9 p.m. — I am getting tired so I journal for a few minutes and get ready for bed.

Daily Total: $105.86

Day Six: Monday

7:30 a.m. — I delay getting up and waking up until I absolutely have to. I finally get out of bed at 7:30 a.m. and rush to get ready. I wash up, do my skincare routine and brew my coffee.

8:30 a.m. — I arrive at my office and it’s freezing. Unfortunately the thermostat isn’t working so I turn on a portable heater to keep me warm. A few kids trickle in and out for schedules and questions.

10:30 a.m. — My day drags on a bit and I try not to think about my ex and our last conversation, but it makes me sad and it affects how I feel about today.

12 p.m. — I check in with a new student, and review her transcript and graduation plan. I also talk with a coworker to help prep for a meeting we have tomorrow with a parent. We talk out the plan and feel good about the direction of it. I eat my leftovers from yesterday’s veggies and sausage and toast up some bread.

4 p.m. — After leaving my school office, I arrive home and sign into my computer to meet with my client on video for her therapy session. Afterwards I prep for dinner. I make a beef stew with mashed potatoes. While I wait for my stew to bake in the oven I go on a quick jog/walk around the neighborhood. I’m still getting used to how cold it’s been but the cardio feels good and invigorating.

6 p.m. — I get back home and eat dinner. The beef came out kind of dry so I’m a little bummed about that — so much labor for a dry piece of meat. I turn on Sex and the City (what can I say, I’m a creature of habit). Afterwards I start my new book, which is a nonfiction book called The Geography of Bliss. I love reading on the couch next to the fireplace with a scented candle on. This definitely redeems what would have been a mediocre Monday.

8:30 p.m. — I scroll through my phone and Instagram for a bit, I text a few friends and my cousin back. I’m feeling tired so I wash up, do my skincare routine and go to bed.

Daily Total: $0

Day Seven: Tuesday

7:30 a.m. — I check my clock and realize it’s already 7:30 a.m. I slept well and had vivid dreams. I rush to get ready, do my skincare routine, brew coffee. Thankfully I prepped what to wear last night so I’m efficient.

8:30 a.m. — I arrive at work. One of the teachers brought doughnuts and he stops by my office so I can grab one. I pick a glazed doughnut, my favorite. I have a quick teacher and student meeting and a few kids trickle in and out throughout the morning. I do some administrative tasks and have a slow start to my day.

12 p.m. — I heat up my leftovers from last night (the beef stew) for lunch. I do a few more student check-ins and random tasks. I prep for the parent meeting later this afternoon, which I’m feeling oddly nervous about.

3 p.m. — The meeting went better than I thought and ran very smoothly. I think it helped that it was virtual and that my coworker and I had a plan in mind. I pack up and get ready to head out for the day. Before driving home I stop by the gas station to fill up. $55.60

5 p.m. — I prep my sheet pan dinner again, of roasted veggies and chicken sausage. It’s simple but so good. I go on a short walk around my neighborhood. I love walking and wish I was able to move more during work but I’m usually just stuck in my office. I then go to a vinyasa yoga class — it’s a mellow flow and exactly what I need on a Tuesday evening.

6:30 p.m. — I have dinner and catch up on some text messages with a friend and my sister. I continue reading The Geography of Bliss. It’s interesting enough but the narration is a little annoying — it feels a bit Eat Pray Love, but the white man’s version. Regardless, I will continue reading it.

8 p.m. — I hop in the shower and afterwards do some meal prepping for tomorrow. I’m feeling tired so I get to bed around 9 p.m.

Daily Total: $55.60

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