A Practical Guide To Talking To Your Doctor About Sex, Birth Control, & IUDs

If you’ve ever walked into a doctor’s appointment with a very personal question to ask, you know that those conversations aren’t always easy to start. That’s especially true when the question has to do with something like your sex life — in other words, one of the most personal questions you can have. OB/GYNs talk about this topic all the time, so they might not feel awkward about it, but that doesn’t mean you don’t. And when you need to talk about something like birth control and whether to try an option like an IUD — which requires a very open and honest conversation with your physician — it’s natural to get a little nervous.

“I regularly speak with patients who are nervous to talk about sex and birth control,” Dr. Kyle Graham, board-certified OBGYN and medical director at Pediatrix Medical Group in San Jose, CA, tells SheKnows. For one thing, many patients find the topic embarrassing, he explains. There might also be “cultural reasons where sex and birth control are something not to be discussed,” he adds. And with sex specifically, it’s common to believe that no one else is experiencing the same problem you are, which makes it even harder to bring up — “when in reality,” Dr. Graham says, “their question/concern is one that most people are also asking their doctor.”

Dr. Orchideh Alexander, an OB/GYN at Atlantic Health System, notes that sexual health topics like birth control are simply “deeply personal and sensitive,” and thus hard to bring up. Other people, she adds, “are influenced by the lingering stigma surrounding sexual health in our society.”

How To Talk To Your OB/GYN About Sexual Health

The good news for us patients is that a good doctor can help you move past any awkwardness or stigma. “When a patient is nervous to talk about these topics, I start by reassuring them that they are not alone — many people share the same feelings, and it’s completely normal,” Dr. Alexander explains. According to Dr. Graham, your doctor should be factual and open with you as the patient, and they should make sure that you’re comfortable having anyone else in the room with you (like a partner or family members). You should also be reassured that nothing you say in that room will be “judged, laughed at or brushed aside,” he adds.

You should expect your doctor to ask “open-ended questions about their hopes and concerns around sexual health and family planning,” Dr. Alexander adds. “From there, we work together to create a personalized plan, moving at a pace that feels right for them. I always remind patients that there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to have these discussions — what matters most is that they feel heard and respected.”

Talking To Your OB/GYN About IUDs

Whether you’re a mom looking to wait a bit (or longer than a bit) in between kids or looking into contraceptive options for your teen or young adult, birth control is always a major topic at the OB/GYN. IUDs in particular are the subject of a lot of conversations — and misconceptions.

Both doctors say IUDs are an excellent birth control option. “I have a very positive perception of IUDs and try to convey my positivity to the patient,” Dr. Graham explains, and Dr. Alexander agrees: “I absolutely love IUDs and often share that excitement with my patients.”

Dr. Graham also specifically works to “dispel myths patients have heard from social media or friends” about IUDs — like that they’re only for women who have already had children (nope!) or that they cause infertility (also no). And while IUD insertion can range from uncomfortable to very painful for some people, you should feel empowered to talk to your doctor about pain relief options and seek another provider if you don’t feel comfortable with what they can offer.

When you ask about getting an IUD, your doctor should also give you a general overview of what they are: a small device that is placed in your uterus to prevent pregnancy. “I explain that IUDs are a type of long-acting reversible contraception (LARC), meaning that after a single office visit to place the device, patients typically don’t have to do anything for contraception for several years — anywhere from 3 to 10 years, depending on the type of IUD,” Dr. Alexander explains. “It’s an extremely low-maintenance and effective option, and many of my patients end up loving their IUDs.”

What Are the Different Types of IUDs?

Your doctor will also explain the different kinds of IUDs, specifically the difference between the hormonal (levonorgestrel) IUD and the non-hormonal copper IUD, so you can decide which is right for you.

“The hormonal IUD releases a small, steady amount of progesterone over 3 to 8 years, depending on the specific model,” explains Dr. Alexander. Some of the benefits? The hormonal IUD often leads to lighter periods (or no periods at all!) and less cramping; it’s actually considered a treatment option to address heavy or painful periods, Dr. Alexander says.

The copper IUD, meanwhile, is a good option if you’re looking for something hormone-free. It’s also good for 10 years (!), although Dr. Alexander notes that this option can sometimes lead to heavier, more painful periods.

What’s the Right IUD for You?

When you’re deciding the right IUD, it’s important to think about your birth control priorities. You’ll want to think about whether you want a hormonal or non-hormonal option, for starters, and what your menstrual cycle is currently like. “I ask about things like how important it is to them to avoid hormones, whether they’re looking for lighter periods, and how long they want protection,” Dr. Alexander says. Your doctor will also ask about your medical history to see if one option is better for you than another, Dr. Graham says.

The decision to get an IUD or not, and what kind of IUD you get, is up to you and your preferences. Your doctor is just there to guide you through it, answer your questions, and support you — and if you don’t feel supported, again, it’s a good idea to seek out other providers if you can. “Ultimately, it’s a collaborative decision,” Dr. Alexander says. “I make sure patients feel fully informed and empowered to choose what works best for them.”

Before you go, read up on these yoga poses to avoid during your period:

This article was originally published on sheknows.com.