A Mom Wants To Know If It’s Normal She Can’t Wait For Her Kid To Go To Bed

Parents are told that every moment with their children is precious. That they are in the best years of their lives. That it all goes by so fast. And yet, after a full day of parenting, it is incredibly hard to stay positive — or even to stay awake. The truth is that as much as we want to enjoy every single moment with our littles, we also have the hardest job on earth, and we’re always on the clock. Babies cry, toddlers tantrum, teenagers rebel — there’s not an easy age or stage.

It’s doubtful that any parent has never spent a day looking at the clock and willing kid bedtime to roll around so that they can get a break, some me time, and some sleep. But is it “normal” to spend every day just counting down to the next time your kid is asleep?

That’s the worry on one mom’s mind, and she asked for advice on Reddit’s parenting forum.

“I’m literally wishing away my life, and time with my toddler while she’s still so young,” she wrote. “I can’t wait for her to go to bed every night. This is a me problem, not her. She’s amazing, fun and funny, a good sleeper and eater, and generally very well behaved. But I’m overwhelmed as a parent, overstimulated, tired, and just want to veg out every night bc my brain is too full. I feel so guilty.”

Ultimately, she just wants to know if what she’s feeling is normal — and if it will ever go away.

“Has anyone else felt like this for a long time (like 19+ months…)? What did you do/how did you get out of it?” she asked.

Down in the comments, a number of readers reassured her that what she’s feeling is normal for most parents, especially the parents of babies and toddlers.

“Bedtime is the best part of the day. This is a well known fact,” reads the most upvoted comment. “It is amazing how we can love something so completely, do everything we can to meet their needs, but come 7 pm… not want to talk to it ever again. Until tomorrow.”

“Count down to bedtime every day and then stare at them on the monitor and look at pictures missing them 😅,” another wrote. “Kids are exhausting.”

“Motherhood would be absolutely perfect if kids went to bed at like 4pm right before you had to figure out dinner and they became gremlins,” another added.

Several other parents wondered if she should talk to her doctor about postpartum depression.

“I totally understand,” a fellow mom wrote. “I have PPD for nearly ten months now and every single day is a struggle. I don’t want to look back and regret these days but I just can’t enjoy anything. I despise who I’ve become. I’m not the mum I want to be.”

“I think you’re a better mother than everyone who loves motherhood,” another wrote, trying to find perspective. “Showing up and caring for a baby when you’ve got PPD and hate your life is the biggest expression of love I can think of. To even get out of bed takes more commitment and grit than most people ever have to dig up. Give yourself some credit.”

Others noted that the mom is showing signs that she needs more help and more time away from the kids.

“I felt this way once I had my third, it felt like there is so much entertaining and feeding, and ouchies to kiss, and diapers to change, and laundry, and on and on,” one mom wrote. “I was becoming more cranky and was just counting down the minutes until my husband got home and we could get the kids to bed each night. Finally one weekend my husband said something along the lines of; I can see something has shifted in you, and I think it’s because you’re not getting enough time to sharpen your saw and get time to yourself. Let’s work on that.”

The mom joined a book club and started taking time away in the evenings, and her mood improved.

Another mom noted that she might feel this bad daily because women were simply not meant to do this whole job alone and without a larger community.

“Children being raised only by one or two parents is a very new thing evolutionally — like, happening in the last microsecond in the perspective of things,” she wrote. “In the natural order of things, children grow up surrounded by families of a few generations of people living and working together and raising their children together. The nuclear family is completely incompatible with raising a child. A family of two working parents or of a single parent raising a child is not sustainable.”

While respondents had a lot of different things to say, it seemed like all of the parents agreed on a few main points: modern parenting is incredibly difficult and it’s totally normal to get fixated on the clock before bedtime. If you’re really feeling consistently bad, though, it’s time to talk to a health provider and make some changes.