The hard thing about practicing gratitude is that it works the best when you feel like doing it the least. Take the holiday season. Sure, there’s a lot of joy and festivity going around, but that doesn’t lessen all the stress, anxiety, and depression that often comes at this time of year, too. Those burdens can feel even heavier when you’re also dealing with grief, loneliness, or just reflecting on a tough year. With so much weighing on you and so little free time between social obligations and holiday prep, it’s no surprise that mindfulness and gratitude fall by the wayside this time of year.
But that’s what actually makes the holidays such a good time to start a gratitude practice, experts say. “While typically a festive and joyful time of the year, for some, the holidays can bring about stress or trigger feelings of grief and loss for those who have lost someone close to them,” licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Jennifer Birdsall, the clinical director at ComPsych, tells SheKnows. “Practicing gratitude is a powerful way to cope with stressful times and support healthy mood management.”
And it’s not just the stress that makes gratitude especially helpful this time of year. Because you’re around loved ones you may not often see, this is a good time to be grateful for the people in your life, Dr. Birdsall notes. Plus, “the holiday season and the new year are natural times for reflection and renewal,” Dr. Scott Lyons, a licensed holistic psychologist, mind-body medicine specialist, and host of The Gently Used Human podcast, tells SheKnows. “Amidst the hustle and bustle, practicing gratitude can ground us, providing a sense of peace and contentment.”
With the holidays fully upon us and New Year right around the corner, starting a gratitude practice might feel like the last thing you want to worry about. We’re here to tell you it’s a lot less work than you think — and it’s totally worth it, too.
What Does Practicing Gratitude Look Like?
When we talk about a gratitude practice, we’re actually referring to a fairly simple concept. “Practicing gratitude is simply an awareness of the good things in life — both big and small,” Dr. Birdsall says. Cultivating a gratitude practice is about creating ways to help you tap into that awareness, even — especially — when you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed.
And for something so simple, gratitude can make a massive impact on your mood and mental health. “Dopamine and serotonin, two important neurotransmitters involved in mood regulation and happiness, are released by our brains when we practice gratitude,” Dr. Mary Poffenroth, a biopsychologist who researches how the nervous system and brain shape mental processes and behavior, tells SheKnows. That means that a gratitude practice, she explains, “naturally activate[s] the social reward circuits in our brains.” And, by working and strengthening those neural pathways involved in positive thinking, “a daily practice of gratitude can gradually build a more resilient brain structure.” In other words, you’re getting short-term and long-term benefits from practicing gratitude, feeling better in the moment and strengthening your brain’s resilience for the future.
And, because the holidays are all about family and friends, you should know that gratitude can strengthen your relationships too. “Expressing gratitude often leads to deeper connections and mutual appreciation” with the people you love, licensed marriage and family therapist Laurie Singer, MS, BCBA, tells SheKnows. Showing gratitude to others improves your mood and theirs, adds Dr. Birdsall, and your practice might just be contagious, inspiring your loved ones to feel more grateful too.
9 Gratitude Exercises and Tips For the Holidays (and Beyond)
So you’re familiar with the many benefits of practicing gratitude, but how do you actually start, especially if you’re pressed for time and dealing with all the stress of the holiday season? Our experts have a few recommendations for kickstarting your new gratitude practice.
Set a time for your practice. For some people, small, mindful moments of gratitude can happen throughout the day — and you’ll get there eventually too! But if you’re just getting started, feeling like you always have to be aware and watching out for those moments can seem overwhelming. If that’s the case, try designating a set time for your practice. Before bed or in the morning over your coffee or tea can be lovely times to reflect on what you’re grateful for, but you can choose any time of day for your practice.
Keep a gratitude journal. Using a gratitude journal is one of the most popular ways to practice gratitude, Birdsall says. In the journal (which can be a physical gratitude journal or an app, or even your Notes app), you can simply “write out daily the things you’re thankful for,” she says. You can also respond to specific prompts for a little more structure.
Try the “Three Good Things” technique. Dr. Poffenroth recommends this technique, which is exactly what it sounds like. “Each day, simply write down three positive experiences or things you are grateful for,” she explains. Studies have shown that this simple strategy can “improve mood significantly over time,” she adds. If you don’t like journaling, try verbalizing or visualizing your “three good things.”
Share your gratitude with the people in your life. Telling the people you love how grateful you are for them can be a little more intimidating than it sounds, especially if you and your loved ones aren’t in the habit of it. But this can be as simple as saying thank you for the small things someone else does for you or a gift they’ve given you. You can do this in-person, on the phone, or even via text, email, or sending a note in the mail, Birdsall says. “Taking moments to be grateful for the time together or actually telling those people why you’re grateful for them can be really impactful.”
Try gratitude meditation. If you’re the kind of person who loves meditation (or is willing to give it a try), meditating on your gratitude can be a beautiful addition to your daily routine. “You visualize the people and experiences you’re thankful for, allowing the feeling of gratitude to fill your heart,” Dr. Lyons explains. You can find gratitude meditations on YouTube or through meditation apps like Headspace.
Use positive affirmations. Singer recommends adding positive, gratitude-focused affirmations to your morning. “Think of a positive mantra and make yourself set aside 3-5 minutes each morning to say that mantra,” she explains. An example you can start with: “My name is (fill in the blank) and this is a busy time of year. Although I have a chaotic schedule, I am thankful for the people who are in my life. I know what friends or family members I can count on no matter what. I am grateful for my life.”
Go for a gratitude walk. If sitting still for journaling, meditation, or affirmations makes you restless, pull on your sneakers and go for a gratitude walk, Dr. Lyons says. “Take a stroll and consciously focus on the things around you that bring joy or comfort.”
Notice the small stuff. A common hang-up when it comes to practicing gratitude is feeling like you don’t have much to be grateful for. It’s normal to feel that way, especially if you’re going through a low period. But a big part of this practice is realizing you always have something to be grateful for, even if it’s as small as the way the sun looks in your window, the sound of a bird, or the fact that you’re alive and breathing. (Which actually isn’t that small of a thing at all, when you think about it.) “Remember to think about things both big and small,” Birdsall says. “While you’ll of course be filled with gratitude when you arrive at the beach for vacation or get a much deserved promotion, you can also be grateful for the smaller things, like my kids are for their desserts, when a song you love pops up unexpectedly on a playlist, or when someone compliments your outfit. Recognizing these small moments adds to your overall gratitude, health, and resilience.”
Give yourself grace. We’re making all of this sound pretty simple, and it is, but that doesn’t mean that starting a gratitude practice is easy. In fact, it can be pretty challenging for many of us, Birdsall says, “especially those who lean towards the ‘glass half empty’ view of the world.” But the truth is that no matter how hard things are, you can always find something to be grateful for. (We promise!) Giving yourself a moment to recognize one small positive thing can do a world of good, and prime you to find even more tiny nuggets of goodness in your life. “With effortful practice,” Birdsall says, “everyone can train their brain to focus more on the positive than the negative.”
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This article was originally published on sheknows.com.