Parents looking to find and hire a nanny to help take care of their kids are burdened with no easy task. The job typically requires multiple interviews, background checks, and trial runs. Some parents even ask to drive around with a potential nanny to see how they are behind the wheel.
However, potential nannies also need to feel like they are the right fit for the family. If you’ve ever ready any sort of thriller novel about a green nanny heading to fill a position for a wealthy, good-looking couple with a kid who draws all sorts of weird pictures, then you know nannies are well within their rights to ask a couple questions too.
One woman on TikTok sparked some controversy when she listed out her non-negotiable boundaries that she sets with families when she becomes their nanny. And while some of the rules seem totally legit, others on the list had TikTok commenters questioning her reasoning.
TikTok user Brenna gained overnight virality when her video explaining her nanny rules was seen over 7.5 million times, gaining almost 1 million likes and thousands of comments.
In her video, Breanna begins, “I’m going to tell you guys my boundaries as a nanny because I feel like a lot of people ask me this and I’m very strict so…”
Her first rule centers around her need for significant time off, which she requires from all families she is nannying for. “I am not this family’s property, and I deserve time off, like right now I’m in Tahiti, and then next week I’ll be in England,” she says.
She also will not purchase car seats for the kids she’s looking after — that responsibility lies in the hands of the parents, she says.
“Some families will ask you to pay for them and I’m just not going to do that. These are not my kids,” Brenna explained.
Her hours are also not up for debate, and she’s not working overtime unless it’s totally necessary. Brenna also doesn’t often supervise playdates.
“I do not watch extra kids for free,” she says. “The kids can have play dates in moderation.”
One of the more controversial topics she discusses in her rule video is her rule about divorced families. “I will not work for divorced people,” she says matter-of-factly.
Brenna also explains that the salary she asks for is what she will accept from a family. There is no negotiating her payment. “If you cannot afford it, just find somebody else who is willing to take what you want,” she says.
Like her salary, her schedule is something she is also not willing to budge on. “If you change my schedule, that’s going to be a problem,” she remarked. “I can understand a little bit of change obviously, but if you keep changing it, I’m going to say something.”
As for receiving her payment, she’s not leaving until the money is in her account. “I always wait until families pay me before I leave because they always forget,” she said.
Brenna concluded, noting that some of her rules may seem a bit to cut and dry (especially for employers who are also parents with changing schedules and never-ending chaos), but she claims her hard and fast boundaries are due to years of being taken advantage of by parents.
“I may sound strict, but a b*tch has been used and abused and they’re just not gonna fly,” she said at the end of the clip.
Several TikTok users commented on Brenna’s video, asking for clarification on a few of her rules. “I’ve never heard the no divorced people thing as a nanny myself, can you explain why?” one user wrote.
“I don’t work with both parents if they are separated because it was hell they always put me in the middle of their issues,” she replied.
Another wrote that they didn’t think Brenna’s rules were all that bad. “Those seem like the bare minimum girl 💓,” the user wrote.
To which Brenna replied, “They are but people think I’m crazy for them 😂”
Several other users noted that Brenna’s rules were a great starting off point for setting their own boundaries when looking for a family to help nanny.
“This is actually super super helpful! I’ve been a nanny for 12 years and I’ve recently learned to create boundaries,” one user wrote.
Brenna replied to the comment in a follow-up video, thanking the fellow-nanny for her compliment while also blasting parents who think she’s over-the-top with her asks.
“Okay, do I look like Mary Poppins? I do not claim to be her. Look at me, okay? I’m a 22 year old college nanny,” she says. “My rules are nothing crazy. The reason why I have the rules is because there’s no set rules in this industry you have to make up your own.”
This article was originally published on scarymommy.com.