From choosing the caterers to avoiding family feuds while writing up the seating plan, weddings can be a pressure-cooker experience. For brides especially, there’s often an expectation to look your very best. Phrases like “you, but better” are unavoidable when it comes to choosing a hair and makeup artist (or brushing up on DIY tips if you’re giving things a go yourself).
But hair and makeup is largely personal. Some will dream of Hollywood waves while others wouldn’t dare walk down the aisle without a crisp red lip. Ultimately though (and despite well-meaning compliments from loved ones), the most important thing is feeling confident. And when you don’t? It’s hard not to let it put a dampener on the day.
The thing about weddings (and life in general) is that you can plan everything meticulously down to the smallest of details — and curveballs will still come swinging in. So with that in mind, we asked seven women to share their biggest wedding makeup and hair regrets, including the advice they’d give prospective brides as a result.
My biggest regret: Not trusting my own knowledge of my hair, being afraid to use my voice and not packing a makeup touch-up kit.
“I have regrets over both my wedding hair and makeup. I did my own makeup and loved it — I felt so good — but as soon as I saw my husband-to-be, I burst into tears. I hadn’t brought any more makeup with me so I couldn’t do any touch-ups before the professional photographs. You can 100% tell I’d been crying in the pictures.
In my opinion, my hair was a mess on the wedding day. I was so keen for a nice big blown-out wave. When I get a blowdry it always lasts a couple of days, so I went to get one the night before and have a bit of a trim. I went to my regular hairdresser so I thought I was in safe hands, but she basically flat-out refused to do it and said that flat iron curls would last longer. I’d told her that my hair holds better when it is styled from wet to dry rather than dry styling using tools, but she was adamant.
It was one of those ‘I know my own hair’ moments — and no, it didn’t last. She wasn’t mean or anything; it was just frustrating that I didn’t stand up for myself a bit more.
So on the morning of my wedding, I tried to panic-curl my hair and ended up being late for the ceremony because I hadn’t factored in enough time. I just didn’t like the look of my hair at all. Honestly, there are so many pictures of the day that I really don’t like because of my hair and makeup.”Photo: Rebekah Anne.
My biggest regret: Getting married in my everyday hairstyle.
“Me and my partner eloped and I wanted to keep it low-key so I did my hair and makeup myself. I had a makeup lesson beforehand where I learnt a lot and loved the result, so I thought I’d be okay doing my hair since I do it all the time.
I left it too late to book an appointment with my regular stylist so I had to get my hair colored five weeks before the wedding rather than two weeks before, which meant I had slight roots and color fading. I didn’t put as much thought into the style as I should have, and to top it all off, it was super humid in Edinburgh and my hair is naturally curly, so it went frizzy really quickly.
I love my wedding pictures but I just wish my hair was nicer. It was fine but I wanted it to be a bit more polished and special rather than just my everyday hair.”Photo: Lou Rob.
My biggest regret: Not having a trial session.
“I had a handful of wedding celebrations — one of them a Moroccan wedding — where I had my hair and makeup done by an artist that I had never met before. It ruined the whole day. They were recommended by our wedding planner and had a glittering portfolio of A-list clients but it was a disaster: heavy fake eyelashes, really dark eyes and a plastering of foundation.
I didn’t have time to book a trial session because of our schedule and I was so overwhelmed with decision-making in other areas of the wedding that I didn’t think it would be a big deal. But looking back at photos, all I remember is how much it impacted my personal stress on the day; I didn’t look as natural or as ‘me’ as I had hoped.
Looks-wise, I had wanted something effortless, romantic and natural but with the addition of a hairpiece. I did ask the makeup artist to tone it down during the wedding day application but she said I would need it to be heavy to last into the night and to show up in the pictures. I kept quiet and then as soon as she left, I did my best to scrub off what I could, but we were already late. I was in tears in the car on the way to the venue.
The hair styling was far too flat and didn’t suit me so I was also hugely disappointed with that, too. I didn’t have time to change it on the day so I ended up walking down the aisle with the moodiest vibe ever. I sort of preempted any comments from friends and family by telling them how unhappy I was with the whole look, and they did their best to reassure me that it was okay. But the first chance I had after the vows, I went to the bathroom, pulled out the hairpiece and did my best to rectify it. Same with the makeup!
My lesson? Have a trial session and don’t hold back on sharing as many references as possible for your desired look. The more information the better, and if on the actual day things are going wrong, don’t bite your tongue. It might feel awkward initially to say you’re not happy with something but hopefully there will be enough time to fix it, and the makeup artist would much prefer your honesty.”Photo: Saad Alami.
My biggest regret: Not wearing a red lip for the whole ceremony.
“I got married 10 years ago and the only wedding makeup regret of mine — even to this day — was not wearing a red lip for the whole event. I wore a more muted, nude colour during the day, but even now I love how I looked in the red lip I chose for the party.
For some reason I thought that red lipstick was ‘inappropriate’ for the ceremony section, so I considered it best to just wear it to the evening reception instead. Looking back, it wasn’t ‘too much’. Rather, it was perfectly fitting for me — and it made me feel great! I wanted to wear it all day.
Makeup is about expression and feeling good and you’re definitely supposed to feel this way on your wedding day. My advice is to go with the choice that brings a smile to your face and makes you feel your happiest.
The lesson here is to always trust your instinct and do what feels right for you.”
My biggest regret: Overlooking the personality of my makeup artist.
“I put a lot of effort into the research for a bridal hair and makeup artist. It was really important that she also was Chinese, as I wanted my look to be done by someone that understood my hair and facial features, and I wanted to support a fellow Chinese person working overseas. I reserved my artist, a London-based, Chinese makeup artist who does a lot of editorial makeup and hair jobs for fashion magazines, well over a year in advance and paid a premium to lock it in.
I liked how I looked on the day but I would give it 80/100 as opposed to the 95/100 achieved during my hair and makeup test. This was down to her being grumpy on the day. I had booked a separate makeup artist for my maids of honor and mom and gran — and made sure that she was aware of the amount of space she had. I sent her detailed photos of my hotel room the day before. But when she arrived, she was annoyed at the layout of the room and almost refused to set up her kit unless the other makeup artist completely moved their kit to the bedroom and did the hair and makeup for my family on the bed. Because she was huffing and puffing the whole time, I felt like my hairdo was not as intricate as the one she created during the trial, and my fringe fell flat halfway through the day.
Her bad mood just added a lot of unnecessary stress. She also repeatedly told me to not cry, and complained about the times she had to touch up my makeup because I cried (but who doesn’t cry when they are getting married)? It was a disappointing experience because I wanted to support someone who looks like me and is doing great work, but I can’t get over how she made me — the bride — feel like I was walking on eggshells. I think the personality fit is overlooked when picking out a hair and makeup artist, but it can make such a big difference on the day, and I regret not prioritizing that over their portfolio.”Photo: Venus Wong.
My biggest regret: Not briefing my makeup artist beforehand.
“My makeup artist and hairstylist was amazing but I didn’t know how to explain what I had pictured in my mind. Instead, I ended up with Disney ringlet curls. Everyone else at the wedding thought it looked lovely but when I look back, I cringe.
The good thing was that I had three different looks. With Chinese weddings, you have a tea ceremony in the morning, the church and then an evening do. So for the morning and evening I had my hair up in a really nice, low bun. I look back at the pictures of those ceremonies and everything looked perfect — I just wish I could say the same about the pictures from church where my hair was in ringlets.
No one else thought it looked terrible but for me it didn’t work. When I look back I just wish I had briefed the hairdresser properly. I’d recommend researching exactly what you want for your hairstyle and learning how to communicate that with your wedding hairstylist. Show lots of reference images and if you’re not happy with the style, don’t be afraid to say so.”Photo: John Alexander/@jeaphotography_weddings.
My biggest regret: Trusting someone with a shady track record.
“On my wedding day, the hairstylist I’d booked never turned up. He basically disappeared and I never saw him again. He’d been my usual hairdresser up until that point, too. So my mom ended up doing my wedding hair at the eleventh hour.
Thankfully I hadn’t paid a deposit. The hairdresser had previously left his case full of hairspray, bobby pins, brushes and other kit at our place so as to be prepared. He never got in touch to pick that up, either. For all I know, something terrible could have happened to him, though my husband did see him at a later date. He crossed the road and pretended not to have seen my husband.
Looking back, the hairdresser had been chaotic previously and flaked out on a prior trial run, which had left me angry and upset. On the wedding day, we left it to the last minute, just in case he did turn up. Initially, I thought, Oh my god, everything is ruined, I won’t be beautiful. This is a hiccup in the meticulously planned spreadsheet, as I’m a serious planner.
After waiting and waiting my mom said: ‘I’ll make a start now.’ She ended up taking control, which saved me from having to make any decisions and I ended up being quite happy with the plan B result. Things might have been different if I hadn’t felt like a ‘pretty bride’, though. If you ask her, she made the style I had in mind more ‘me’.
In retrospect, it was lovely for my mom to do my hair because my husband and I did a lot of the wedding planning ourselves, so she then ended up having a really important role to play. Don’t trust someone with a shady track record. Do trust your mom.”Photo: Dan Glasser.
My biggest regret: Assuming that the hairstyle in my reference photo would look the same on me.
“I did my entire wedding for under £1,000 [approximately $1,298]. I hated my dress but it was from a sample sale so it didn’t cost much, and I got my sister and my grandpa to cut it up and alter it for me into a slightly nicer shape. I did my own makeup, which was fine, but I decided to splash out and get my hair done. I couldn’t afford the trial run that was recommended so I just went for it on the day and instantly regretted it. Not wanting to make a fuss, I just paid the hairdresser and said thank you and walked around with horrible hair all day.
I live on the isles of Scilly so there were literally only two hairdressers to choose from. I went for the cheaper of those and honestly I can’t fault her at all. I showed her a picture of what I wanted and she copied it perfectly — it just turned out that I hated the style on me and felt like it didn’t suit my face. She did an amazing job on my bridesmaids’ hair. They all looked stunning.
A couple of guests did make small comments about my hair to me on the day, like, ‘Your hair would look better if you just wore it down’, but it had so many pins and so much hairspray in it, that I didn’t dare touch it.
If I were to do it again I’d probably go for a more natural style, with either my hair down, braided or a half up, half down arrangement. I would also definitely opt for a trial before the big day as I had no idea my dream hairdo would look so different on me than in the photo I’d found online. Saying all that, I think it runs in my family to make bold (or bad) hair choices for our weddings. My mom had a perm just a few days before her big day! We still had an amazing day but there are plenty of things I’d change if we could do it all over again.”Photo: Rachael Lewin.
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This article was originally published on refinery29.com.
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